Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for March 27, 2021

Plainly a schmear campaign

I’ll take two!

He’s a PINO. Plain In Name Only.

Or was he dropped on the floor as a child?

What is an EVERYTHING bagel made of?

That’s a crummy argument. I hope someone lox him up.

I don’t like everything bagels. Way too salty for me.

Until his seedy backstory came up to haunt him, he had the election loxed up

He’s toast(ed). He had been coming on a bit strong and something didn’t quite smell right—his remarks were just too cheesy.

And this surprises you how? :)

It is impolite to stare at a bagel’s behind.

The precursor to the infamous cream cheese scandal.

Hole-ier than thou.

I wish I was familiar with bagels… I’d get a lot more jokes online

There’s a hole in your argument, Mr Candidate

Then why isn’t a plain bagel called a NOTHING bagel.

Lox. Him. Up.

I think there’s vaccine for that.

Appears he is making a circular argument.

“I’ve looked at bagels from both sides now—plain and topped—and still, somehow…”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYXZV8CcnQU

:)

He can be everything to everybody.

That’s bad how?

“That’s a really bad case of road rash. Try some ointment.”

“Do you mean skin cream? "

“sort of…Cream Cheese…”

Gross!