Free Range by Bill Whitehead for October 22, 2020

“Mow” ’em down.

Mowed II: Briggs and Stratton’s Revenge.

Those weeds are about to be whacked!!

It is only a hair cut, you will all need another one in a week or two.

LOL! Human beings don’t like that evil monster any more than you all do!

The second feature is Edward Scissorhands.

The smell of freshly cut grass is a distress signal. In other words, the smell a lawn makes is the grass screaming.

Movie trailer voice over: “With a roar the evil metallic monster mowed them down en masse!”

Toro, the Gay Blade.

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Does the Lawn Ranger save the day?

Well, looks like your ass is grass….er, grass is wacked….

The real horror movie. Bagged or mulched?

Toro! Toro! Toro!

How did the blades of grass get to the theater if they are afraid of being cut my the lawn mower?

“The weed hacker Vern, the weed hacker!”

They should’ve gone to see “Splendor In The Grass”

Well, “The Lawnmower Man” IS a horror….

And the background music was from Mowtown.

Horror movie!