Frazz by Jef Mallett for July 13, 2020

I think it all started when “they” took the actual sugar out of soda pop and replaced it with ‘nearly as good’ HFC. At some point people began consuming the thing with the name that they remembered with favor. And then it got worse.

We’ve gone back to shopping at the farmers market, and find the results to be extremely tasty!

What I really don’t get is vegan meat and dairy!

I mean, if you are against eating animal products in the first place, why do you want to imitate the taste/texture/appearance of the original? And if you like the attributes of the original, why torture yourself being vegan?

Here in India, vegetarianism is a strong tradition that goes back through ages and there is no meat substitute in any of our menus. Dairy was never a real taboo. It’s only at the end of the last millennium that this fad of veganism intruded – that too amongst the richer citizens.

Brilliant, Jef!

Hey guys, let people have what they want the way they want it. You can have it your way while they have it theirs !

What is there to drink that isn’t processed? Rain water. Coconut water. Fruit juice must be extracted.

I really enjoy Jef’s command of language, as in panel 3. But there is a good reason for the beverages in question. Coffee and alcoholic beverages are often central to social gatherings. For those who want to appear adult, but who don’t want caffeine or alcohol, decaf and NA-beer let them participate and fit in with the occasion. We create the world we inhabit through our purchasing choices.

In some foods, substitutes for the real thing have turned out to be the worst possible health choices, and not just because of the new taste. Same can be said about changing their containers. Glass and metal we could handle. Plastics not very well.

I didn’t get it either. You’re not alone, child with no name that I don’t really care about.

People come in wanting a firm mattress and then want a mattress topper to make it softer?? Why not get the one right for you?

Decaf and NA beer are there for those of us who for one reason or another cannot have the real thing. I am one of those. Can’t even have the decaf for medical reasons. : (

I hate the decaf coffee but love the non-alcoholic beer. Hatuey is my favorite.

Translation: I wish more people thought like you do.

Too much grammatical parsing for me so early in the day.

I used to make fun of a coworker because he drank Diet Coke. Then I developed a serious addiction to Caffeine-free Diet Dr. Pepper. No sugar, no caffeine? What was the point?

 A letter to your descendants in 2120

“In response to your application to display the image of your ancestor in the National Portrait Gallery, you must know that we have very high standards for who can be honored this way. While we appreciate that your ancestor cured cancer; negotiated a lasting peace in the Middle East; discovered anti-gravity; and won the Nobel Prize, 7 Oscars, 2 Pulitzer Prizes, and the Fields Medal, we must balance that against other aspects of per’s life, and here we are horrified.

“Per was known to wear leather, eat meat, and consume dairy products forcibly extracted from captive bovine Americans. Per not only condoned the auto-torture of neckties and high heels but actively engaged in them. Per consigned wood and petroleum to the flames. Per treated the forerunners of our cybercitizens as if they were mere tools, to be used and discarded. Per supported the sugar trade. Per performed ritual cannibalism at ‘religious’ services. Per engaged in ‘marriage’ to a single other person at a time. Per regularly used sexisms like ‘he’, ‘she’, ‘man’, and ‘woman’. (Pardon our coarseness, but we must face the ugly reality.) Per consumed paper. Paper!

“Worse, on multiple occasions per deplored violence in all its forms rather than proudly promoting good violence. Worst of all, per stood for vulgar democracy instead of the benign rule of our wise Council of Elder Philosophers.

“Since it is universally recognized that the entire measure of a person’s character is the worst thing that per has ever done, you will understand why your ancestor will never be the 3rd image in our Gallery.”

I had to quit caffeine years ago; it was giving me brain-banging headaches.

This really resonates with me. Decaffeinated tea is even more of a mind-bender than decaffeinated coffee. And non-alcoholic beer (or wine for that matter) is too Zen for my weak brain to grasp. For that matter this whole strip is rather Zen.

I once tried Miller Sharps out of curiosity. It tasted terrible!

The flavor reminded me of the odor when you cut open a pumpkin when you’re carving a jack-o-lantern.

I started drinking coffee in my early adulthood. For the caffeine, no doubt.

When i was forced to stop drinking caffeine i discovered that i missed my morning cup or three. Caffeine or not, decaf is still coffee.

That took a bit of effort to parse

The worst example of a bastardized “food” is non-fat whipped topping. Why?! Either indulge in a small amount of what you enjoy, or skip it altogether.

At least in my family, Mom drinks non-alcoholic beer because she likes the taste of beer but isn’t allowed to have alcohol with her current medications, and I drink decaffeinated pop because I like the pop but am trying to cut down on caffeine. Some of the other stuff that’s been monkeyed around with, I’ve got no idea why they have to change it.

Yes, how strange people are, altering their drinking habits because of their health and sleep issues. Why don’t they just stop liking the taste of those drinks and drink other drinks? Calvinhead’s discipline, you’re a genius. Of wasting my time.

These are things I ponder while I drink my caffeinated coffee…

Pat Mobley

This reminds me of a good old song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCo8HpRmQ0k

I’m with him. I don’t like the taste of coffee or beer enough to have them without the effects.

You know what I don’t get? Any kind of coffee.

Because the caffeine causes me some health issues and I love the taste of coffee. What else don’t you get?