Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for May 21, 2020

Oh, is it fashionable to display personal grooming paraphernalia? Nit-wits.

That was the worst lousy comb collection ever.

Thank you.

…Lice, it had to be lice…

…brought to you by the Froglandia Lice Museum…

…one of only seven lice museums in the world…

…oh waiter what is lice doing in my ice?…

…a Hans Solo impersonation…

… oxy chlorophyll with a little olly oxen freewill clean that right up…

…and before you clean my enema collection, Cloris, your blouse is on backwards…

…you can’t make me stay home from school because I have lice…

…that’s overreach…

I hope the lice has been removed from the combs. I have a good idea about what a louse comb looks like, but I didn’t know that there were multiple designs or styles. I guess in Froglandia this is a common thing. Anyway, I’ve had lice once or twice as a kid. My Mom used one of those combs on me for awhile, then she got sick of trying to clean my lousy head and I ended up getting my head shaved. Good thing it was near the end of the school year. Some kids have nicely-shaped heads that look okay shaved. Not me. I have one of those lumpy, lopsided jobs that looks like a squirrel has half-buried a bunch of nuts up there. Instead of being smooth and round, my head is full of weird bumps.

All it takes is one kid to infect a school…ewww, now I have the heebeejeebees…..scratch scratch

Good, thank you. Please put it in the case next to the palate spreaders, above the orthopedic shoes.

There there my deary…

I will host a dinner tonight in your name.

Deadpan irony leaves me Breathless (and if you also read Dick Tracy, you may realize that isn’t so bad, necessarily).

Lice comb collections fit well into Cabinets of Curiosities, Museums of Oddities, and Medical Museums. —Right next to the preserved shaven heads of little kids. And for sure here in the Froglandian National Antiquarium….

May I share your lousy comb so I might make the lice a home?

If we stop sending our kids to school the head lice win!

How do you comb lice, and why would you want to?

For the lameness of it: Comb collection … Combs … P. Diddy … Nitty Diddy … Nitty Gritty Diddy … etc. (pitiful ?)

There was no entrance fee for Madame’s Curio Museum of Lame-assery, but everyone was required to give an anal print at the door. It cut down on the thievery; sticky fingers be damned!

A new product on the frog market, the stock is rising..

Jake’s Lice Cream

Yesterday’s paperboy appreciates your service..

Did you clean every part?

I am so over your comb collection . . .

What child defaced this feature with a ball point pen and what was the motivation?

Warren Beatty the Lice Shampoo..

Warning: Beat Lice my way or know a Beatty Shampoo ..