Tom Toles for March 05, 2020

I think almost any Democrat (maybe not even “almost”) can beat him. Today the cartoonists are all about Biden, Biden, Biden. We’ll see what happens.

Isn’t that when he does his best (worst) tweeting?

In the long, sleepless night, Donald dreads —

“The Nightmare On Trump Street”!

One, two, Biden’s coming for you.

Three, four, Better tweet some more.

Five, six, Corrupt the politics.

Seven, eight, The Base agitate.

Nine, ten, Use Russian help again.

Some folk count sheep…

Donald vs Bernie/Joe – {3 beats/line, then 4}

We Dems have quite a lot ridin’

on candidates Bernie and Biden, -

- to cause Republicans’ wrecks

so that Trump becomes an Ex. …

… So Trump puts them down with his grade-schooler’s names

and defames them with malicious-tho’-fact-less claims

and plays his additional dirty-tricks games.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

An Imitation of “Mister Sandman” (Apology to Pat Ballard)

.

“Mister Sleepman”

Mister Sleepman, allow me a dream:

Make Biden’s campaign again run out of steam.

Give him confusion and continual stammers,

Make his computers crash from Russian bots and spammers!

.

Sleepman, don’t make me plead,

But I’ve never had so extreme a need.

Don’t make me beg and scream out crudely,

Make it so I can continue acting rudely.

.

See here, Sleepman, I request you comply.

Upon others around here I can rely.

Do this, and I’ll make you a cabinet member;

Doesn’t “Secretary of Dreaming” have a pleasing timbre?

.

Sleepman, here’s what I want:

A clever schemer, but a loyal sycophant.

Make him as fierce as a male honey badger,

And we’ll chew up that Biden campaign, I’d wager!

.

Sleepman, and while we are schemin’,

Put me in touch with a professional demon.

Since Roger Stone is now out of commission,

I need to hire another — with of course Satan’s permission.

.

Oh, and Sleepman — have you a spare succubus?

All of this nasty talk has aroused my lust.

Well, if not, just provide a really evil dream:

That Joe Biden by this November

Will run out of sssssteammmmm.

He would never wonder if it is “office hours” anyplace. The man just doesn’t grasp the concept of time zones. “If it’s 2:00 PM here, obviously it’s 2:00 PM in Japan.”

https://tinyurl.com/ybrrbha4

His tiny eyes! XD

{Off-topic:}

They LIKE{!!} Trumpism – {4 beats/line}

His base they parrot The Donald’s talk

and fawningly walk The Donald’s walk

{albeit a crock // of ignoble schlock}. -

- Trump we mock // as a laughingstock,

but his base lauds Trump as of-all-things a Hero{!!}

{albehim despotic, imperious like Nero}.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

May I remained everyone, rump met Melania at an Epstein’s Affair…..she’s no better than him…..and he deserves every haunting nightmare he gets…..soon RAT will be back to his home dwelling….the underground sewers In NY and the subways…….

He could dream about Sleepy Jean instead. “Cheer up, Sleepy Jean. Oh, what can it mean? To a daydream believer and a homecoming queen.”

It looks like a ‘perfect’ dream.

Joe Biden, living rent-free in The Donald’s head. Gotta love it!

Does Mastermind understand how it can be a different time someplace where he isn’t?

Go ahead and investigate Biden’s kid, that leaves Trump’s ‘kids’ wide open and they are.

Yeah, Joe “Nothing will change”, “I have no empathy for millennials”, “I’m running for Senate” Biden. I’m sure he’s terrified.

{Off-topic:}

Bernie is NOT “Extreme”!! – {4 beats/line}

Wrongly tho’ loudly the Centrists scream

the WallStreeter Plutocrats’ horsefeathered theme

that Bernie’s proposals are wildly “extreme”.

… Coda:

Bernie au contraire would our nation redeem

from the Third Way’s save-the-rich-interests scheme.

… Footnotes:

{1} Rachel interviews Bernie {4 minutes}: – https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/sanders-we-re-trying-to-transform-this-country-not-just-beat-trump-80035397824

{2} The “Third Way”: a Wikipedia page: – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Way_(United_States)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ah, so he was really afraid of Biden all along, not Bernie.

What does Trump have to worry about? Biden as democratic nominee means a repeat of 2016. In any case, even if everyone in the country voted for the democratic candidate, Trump will simply declare the election null and void, impose martial law, and refuse to leave office. The Senate and the SCOTUS will back him. He is president-for-life, and he’ll fix things so that Melania will inherit.

I think you meant Ivanka. After all, Ivanka is Trump’s third favorite person in his entire lifetime—after himself and Roy Cohn.

@TimeToGo: “…wouldn’t it be great if Biden chose Obama as his running mate?”

I believe that Barack is Constitutionally ineligible, since if the President died, the Vice President would become President, and Obama has already served his two Constitutionally-allowed terms.

However, the suggestion of Michelle is quite interesting. Especially since — partly thanks to Trump and his family — there is no legal restriction on Barack acting as an “advisor”… or even holding a Cabinet position.

How about Barack Obama as Attorney General?

Thomas Bowler, studied Political Science & Religion at Loyola University Chicago (1971)Answered Jan 17, 2020

The Top Ten Things Which Prove That Donald Trump is a Stable Genius

10.) Only he knows that the “sound of Wind Turbines causes cancer.”

9.) He makes speeches that nobody can understand, so he must be speaking at a level far above the average person. Much of what he says can only be heard by people who can hear “Dog Whistles”.

8.) He knows big words like “covfefe”, which most people have no idea what it means.

7.) Only he is smart enough to read between the lines of The Mueller Report and see that he is “TOTALLY and COMPLETELY EXONERATED!”, right after the passage where it says “Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”

6.) Only Trump knows that, “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” Tweeted by him on 11/6/2012.

5.) He got all perfect grades in all the schools he attended, which he sued to keep private, so as not to embarrass all the regular, stupid people who voted for him.

4.) Who else knew about the capture of all the airports during the Revolutionary War?

3.) The fact that he won’t release his tax returns lends credence to the fact that he is a genius at not paying taxes.

2.) The fact that dozens of people who surround him daily, say that he doesn’t read anything, proves that he already must know everything.

1.) He has all the degrees possible from Trump University.

I read somewhere that he viewed his role as peacemaker for the party after the bruising primaries.

Wonder if Biden will choose Bloomberg as his running mate…….

Whoever wins I hope they put Obama on the Supreme Court.

Great artwork Tom ♥♥

Sleepless in the White House!

I think Steve Bell’s is closer to the truth.