Close to Home by John McPherson for February 20, 2020

So they are no different than any other service center hotline.

“Your call is very important to us (snerk!)”

“Para español, oprima dos.”

Just like when you call the Poison Control Center or Suicide Prevention hotline….please hold for the next available representative!!!

Yesterday I made a tech call and got a person in about 2 minutes. Not only that, I could understand what they were saying!! On top of that they knew what they were talking about and solved my problems. It was stunning!!!

Incontenence hotline, please hold.

Probably calling the Equifax “helpline”.

Wow, sounds a lot like Dell support.

Humana Health: Go through five option trees to get to the one you need and then are told it will be a 20 minute wait.

what happened to the poor ladies nose? Looks like she got punched

“Please press 1 to get back to the start menu, then press 1 on the start menu.”

Bleeb hiding in the snake plant. Get out of there little buddy that plant is very toxic!

Please be patient while we test your patience.

“Are currently listening to others whining about their pathetic lives”

been so freaking there!!!!!

I would go buy a lottery ticket.

“…are practicing their English and memorizing their scripts. Please stand by.”

Good thing she wasn’t trying to reach the Slow Talkers of America.