Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 16, 2019

You’re KILLING me with your STRETCH of imagination… SCREW YOU!

It’s for people with laryngitis.

From the short-lived and highly ironic line of greeting cards put out by the Church during the Spanish Inquisition.

I would probably send a card like that to someone with a certain kind of sense of humor.

That doesn’t sound very sincere.

An early Hallmark prototype …

today it would be a best-seller …!

She blinded me with science.

I’ll give this comic one thumb up, I’d give it two but the other one is being punished for being too enthusiastic.

… there’s no such thing as a little garlic…

…from the Froglandia Addams family collection…

…I’m not sure if this card is sincere or not…

… but I’m not going to rack my brain over it…

…and if you die you’re not a witch…

…aaah, Halloween is here already…

…first Eddie Money and now this…

…hurts so good…

…from the good people that brought you the crucifix…

…racks don’t kill people…

…mentally I’ll people kill people…

…and they took my pain meds away, too…

…Nikes new no pain no gain advertisements…

This adjusted Get Well card was sent by our friend in pain, Dr." Stretchin’ Gretchen " Cruncher at Back Acres Farm.

What’s that about GETting to throw someone in a WELL SOON?

This is what can happen if you give me a thumbdown.

It’s time for Toledo’s favorite game show, Wheel… Of… TORTURE!!!

Ah. The rack, thumbscrews and other compression-devices, and the wheel are all certifiably effective devices for torture. I especially like that spikey back support in the first rack. So, I’m going to guess that “get well soon” is just sadistic sarcasm.

Carry on, doctor….

“Sorry I forgot our safe-word.”

I’m keeping an eye out for the next Frog Applause.

It’s so refreshing to receive a Get Well card!

feeling better, but in the meantime please keep a safe distance

These devices are typically used by authorities who wish to demonstrate their moral superiority to the victim.