Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for May 03, 2019

“Hey, pretty lady! Baby got bactrian!” “We’re dromedaries, idiot.” “Oh, spit.”

There goes your chance for any humping with her.

Inexplicably? What do you expect? She’s sipping wine and he’s swilling beer. Out of a bottle. Loser.

Drinking alcohol in such an arid area is a very bad idea.

Nothing is a bigger turnoff than camelsplaining.

And to think he walked a mile to meet her, now he’s blowing it!

No one likes a know-it-all, Jake!

I hate to break it to your guys, but boobs are fat sweat glands.

Jake needs his HUMP Lipo-suctioned…..

Exactly what my wife (RIP) said about boobs. Now all I see are sacks of Crisco.

does my hump make me look fat?

Never understood why women get so upset about us answering the question honestly but have no issue at all telling us what they think about our physique, loss of hair, graying hair, or appearance.

In Jake’s case, it isn’t water, it’s beer.

Jake…the Cliff Clavin of the camel world.

Being truthful never worked for me either, good luck next time.

At least he’s not smoking.

With his lack of social skills I bet he can’t even get any on Wednesdays of all days.

Jake should have just told her that she looks like she’s retaining water.