Tom Toles for March 09, 2020

I used to have some respect for her.

Hey, he just may surprise everyone and have a female running mate. Would probably raise a few eyebrows though!!

He will find some reason to dump vp dense,and blame the response to the coronavirus on him.

Naw, he’ll want someone he can trust to protect him. Ivanka.

Appropriate, they’re both phonies. Trump pretends to be a populist and Haley pretends to be white.

The Veep’s Iffy Future – {limerick}

The Donald never relents

in generating suspense.

This time it’s Pence

for whom things are tense.

The risks of his job are immense.

… Coda: – {3 beats/line}

It might be a Good thing, – a Plus, -

- were Pence thrown under the bus

{there’d be less ‘bout which to fuss}.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That Pence couldn’t see this coming, when he accepted the nomination in the first place, speaks volumes about the man.

{Off-topic:}

Gloom Cues Us to Pray – {3 beats/line}

Ominously darkens the gloom

of quickly impending doom, -

- of the economy’s downward spiral

which traces to sicknesses viral.

Let us our prayers resume.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Not gonna make a bit of difference, since trump’s going down in flames in November!

Nah, I think Roger Stone would be far better.

“Mother’s Poi”

The poi dog arose from extinction

When Mike Pence received bland distinction

As Donald Trump’s running-dog mate:

Roasted pig to poi they did relate.

.

Such a complacent mild-dog breed,

Pence faithfully paid constant heed

To an erratic Master who let

Dumb hunches rule, and showed no regret.

.

But just recently he felt the chills

From cold-wind-blowing rumor mills

That soon he would be rudely shoved

By Master Trump, no longer loved.

.

It was not at all what was expected,

From Repub pet store he’d been selected

As a docile hand-licking doggie

(Who got Dog-father’s hand quite soggy).

.

No more long, ranting rally talkies

Where his Master unleashed his sulkies.

No more head pats, no meaty treats

When the liberal dogs were whipped defeats.

.

The Master has spied another pet

By whom he hopes vote puppy dogs to get.

Will poor Pence dog be sent to the pound

Where Trump former pets can oft’ be found?

To set up a dynasty.. (and, keep trump out of jail) it will have to be a family member.

Sarah Palin is going to be so disappointed.

Just like two pea-brains in a pod…

He may well want Nikki Haley. Oh, and he may want her for VP as well.

{Off-topic:}

‘Ere Long ’Twill Be Too Late – {3 beats/line}

If the Dems continue to spllnter

into shards of the Left and the Center, -

- they’ll prolong this Trump-era winter

of days so dismally dark

with injustice severe and stark

that ‘ere long ’twill be too late

to avoid a Trump-ruined fate.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Yet there are many people who think the resident is wonderful because ….

The market is crashing because of Trump’s Corona virus incompetence and his ‘friends’ the Saudis and Putin are in an oil war.

Stock Market down 1,400 points, trading suspended.

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/markets/dow-set-open-decline-1-300-points-oil-war-adds-n1152941?

Trump’s revolving job door will be spinning ever faster, as the Wuhan Flu story stays in the news, and Trump will blame and fire a stream of WH Flu Faces. Mike Pence is off the ticket (but he won’t find out until the convention).

Trump said he only wants to hear good news about the virus…head in sand syndrome. He also said it will not hit Washington DC. How nice for him.

Trump wants Pence to self-quarantine — all the way out of politics.

AND he has NO CLUE as to what the “Nero Fiddled While Rome Burned” meme ACTUALLY means… he even re-Tweeted it and BRAGGED ABOUT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT MEANT!!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1236778368533700609

Trump would dump Pence in 10 seconds if he thought Haley would get him 10 more votes. Trump appears to already have the evangelical vote locked up with Pence or without, so what does that human nothing bring to the party, Haley is a woman and has a slightly less white skin tone, so Trump can brag about what a great feminist and lover of the coloreds he is.

The only reason they were keeping Trump around is because the market was high, what is their excuse for him now?

The Princess and the Pee Brain.

“Whoever would agree to be Trump’s running mate would be unqualified because he would think Trump was qualified”—George Will

But of course in Pence’s case, Mother is the unquestioned power behind the throne. Which is why I discount those who think Trump would toss Pence out to get a new running mate: Mother would attack Trump with all the savagery (and nearly the tactics!) of a rabid weasel.

He’ll never do that – he wouldn’t be in the same room with her given a choice. Besides, he wants to appoint IVANKA as his VP…and successor…

How about Ivanka? She’s totally loyal to the Great Leader*, right?

*or is it the Dear Leader, the Maximum Leader, Il Duce, Der Fü…oh, never mind. The Current Occupant.

Not me