Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for February 20, 2024

“Don’t be so clothes minded.”

It’ll all come out in the wash

You’re all wet.

Just wait til they get spun up.

“You’ve had your Final Rinse Buddy and I don’t have a gentle cycle.”

Please! Someone offer a clever pun using “spin”.

You don’t often see dryer humor than that…

Shake Rattled and Rolled.

Wrote this one during the pandemic:

Day 367 of the lockdown.

Those voices in my head continue to have conversations with my household appliances.

According to the microwave things aren’t going well even though he’s usually cooking something up. The griddle is beginning to waffle and the panini maker thinks it’s a matter of time before we’re all toast. I can’t trust the washing machine since she puts a different spin on things. The refrigerator is acting cold and distant but the iron is straightening things out: the situation isn’t that pressing. I considered talking to the wall, but it was plastered and my roof came down with a case of shingles

The vacuum cleaner was unsympathetic and told me to suck it up, but the fan was encouraging telling me that this will eventually blow over. The toilet looked flushed and the doorknob told me to get a grip. The front door became unhinged and the curtains told me to pull myself together.

The burnt-out lightbulb wasn’t illuminating and my dull knife just wouldn’t cut it. My wide-screen TV didn’t have the big picture and I couldn’t count on my broken calculator. Even though the clock had time on its hands, it had second thoughts especially about the minute details; hour conversation was limited. My record player just went around in circles and I could not get a rise out of the yeast in the kitchen. The tortilla was flat but the coffee maker did perk me up.

The lawn mower was too high on grass to be of any use and the rototiller couldn’t turn anything up. However, the hammer was able to nail things down that was plane to see. I had a conversation with my drill, but it was boring.

I guess I’ll have to screw up the courage to consult the wine bottle.

Soooo dizzy!

And for good reason…I feel so twisted today….

I don’t think the spin cycle worked properly.

I gave this up for lint.

They’ll be in better moods once the dryer sheet’s put in…in fact, they’ll be ex-static.

Great comments!

If they don’t get in the dryer soon that mildew it.

Nice to see some good clean humor here!