Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 04, 2012
Transcript:
Rat: 'Promote Peace'...'Co-exist'...'Save the Planet'... Why do people always tell me what to do on their bumper stickers? Goat: I don't know. Why does it matter? Rat: Because it bothers me. So I've created my own. "Stop telling me what to do on your bumper stickers." Goat: I think it hurts your case that it's on a bumper sticker. Rat: Hey. Stop telling me what to do.
margueritem about 12 years ago
Goat, why do you even try?
killacowinWA about 12 years ago
Fashionable hypocrisy. Let the arguing begin.
Sherlock Watson about 12 years ago
Roses are red, violets are blue,I’m not schizophrenic, and neither am I.
Arianne about 12 years ago
Obviously, Have A Nice Day is out of the question. (Popeyesforearm – I just left a note for you on yesterday’s page:)
seyleigh about 12 years ago
I’m adding Rat’s bumper sticker to my funny sayings list, along with “My apathy trumps your outrage” and “Abstinence: 99.99% affective.”
Tammycrookshanks about 12 years ago
If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat? That’s my favorite…I’m a vegetarian.
naturally_easy about 12 years ago
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do.
naturally_easy about 12 years ago
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
knight1192a about 12 years ago
As usual, Goat’s right. It does hurt Rat’s case that he’s putting it on a a bumper sticker to get folks to stop telling him what to do on bumper stickers. But Rat is right too. Some of these bumper stickers are quite obnoxious in telling folks what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and what will happen to them if they don’t do it.
knight1192a about 12 years ago
Oh, my favorite bumper sticker that doesn’t tell you what to do, “Congress’s motto: If it Ain’t Broke, Fix It Until It Is”
rolleg about 12 years ago
“…what to do ON”… a “bumper sticker?” Hmm…
orinoco womble about 12 years ago
Rat left out the second part: “You’re not the boss of me!”
orinoco womble about 12 years ago
My favourite bumper sticker: “Commit random acts of kindness and senseless beauty.” And it always cracks me up that people have to stop and think what it means.
Sandfan about 12 years ago
jmartin1955 about 12 years ago
Rat is often my personal hero.
flagfly about 12 years ago
This reminds me of my older brother hitting me and then again for telling him to stop it.
Sisyphos about 12 years ago
Ah, Rat! You shouldn’t let something as inconsequential as a bumper sticker bother you. At best, they’re sometimes worth a chuckle. (You do know how to chuckle, don’t you?)
finale about 12 years ago
“Don’t brake for Zombies”
Larhof52 about 12 years ago
I would buy that bumper sticker.
Packratjohn Premium Member about 12 years ago
My favorites bumper stickers? WWSD? (What would Spock do? – we could use some logic)and“I really do not like bumper stickers”
bearguy about 12 years ago
‘My son was the inmate of the month at the county jail’
Digital Frog about 12 years ago
Save The Whales – Collect the whole set!I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, it’s because I hate plants!
hcr1985 about 12 years ago
My favorite is “Honk if You Love Jesus…Text while driving if you want to meet Him!!!”
McGehee about 12 years ago
When I see a bumper sticker that says Question Authority I want to know who the @#$!! they are, trying to tell me what to do.
McGehee about 12 years ago
I wish I had a bumper sticker big enough for If you must follow me too close, please don’t die in the ensuing fiery collision.
Fan o’ Lio. about 12 years ago
Perfect Bumper Sticker:
HELP STAMP OUT BUMPER STICKERS
Fan o’ Lio. about 12 years ago
IF YOU CAN READ THIS
YOU SHOULD BE KEEPING YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD
Tommy1733 about 12 years ago
I want Rat’s sticker!
Guilty Bystander about 12 years ago
“If you’re reading this, you’re missing that semi that’s about to nail you head-on”
Popeyesforearm about 12 years ago
The popular sticker in Portland is, “Keep Portland Weird”.Now the new one is “Weird Isn’t Working”
codedaddy about 12 years ago
I like attributing quotes. The first one is among comedian Stephen Wright’s best. Dunno the second.
A.Ficionada about 12 years ago
Rat is going off bumper sticker with that last command…
xall2h1 about 12 years ago
perfect bumper stickerI WOULD NEVER USE BUMPER STICKERS!
notinksanymore Premium Member about 12 years ago
People with bumper stickers instructing you to honk for one reason or another don’t actually want you to honk. Just a little FYI…
Phil (full phname Philip Philop) almost 7 years ago
“This IS my other car”