Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for April 18, 2023

Go with cardboard or better donate

Very funny. But it’s straight into the oven for me.

Who cares if it lasts? I hope nobody plans on digging it up.

A friend made my brother’s casket, one that is totally biodegradable. But it was HEAVY!

Do they make biodegradable coffins?…. interesting idea….

Cremation for me. It means I get revenge on the arthritis and the rest!

As long as it lasts you’ll be insulated from the temperature.

Better do a New Orleans style vault, or the first rain will float it out of the ground.

What do you care if the casket lasts? You’ll be dead.

Both of them.

I’m ex U.S. Navy. Just take me out to sea and drop me over the side.

If the foam is thick enough, it should last forever. And you’ll have six new friends.

“It’s not the cough that carries you off. It’s the coffin they carry you off in.”

Will it last? I remember years ago the blue box salesmen were saying that the styrofoam boxes will last for a thousand years and still look brand new! (That is if they don’t catch on fire, then they go up in a flash, so this warning, NO SMOKING allowed in the funeral parlor!)

Put the old gal’s body in it, fill with ice, throw in a case of brewskis and you’re all set for a cold one or a stiff drink.

Hope the person’s being creamated. That won’t hold anything heavier than ash.

The environmentalists, though, will not.

My late mother-in-law did one of those pre-planned and pre-paid end of life things. She chose a crypt in a mausoleum (cue memories of various movies) and took us along for the walk-through. It was there she discovered her vault was about six feet above ground level. She objected, “There is no way I can get up there!” The guide assured her, “We will help you up.” Then realization set in.

Oh yeah? Fun when the body breaks through while you’re taking it down the stairs to the hearse.

Cremation for me, then my ashes scattered.

I’ll bet its still to expensive.

… The road is long

With a many a winding turn

That leads us to who knows where

Who knows where

… But I’m strong

Strong enough to carry him

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

… So on we go

His burial is of my concern

No burden is he to bear

We’ll get there

… For I know

He would not encumber me

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

… If I’m laden at all

I’m laden with sadness

That everyone’s heart

Isn’t filled with the gladness

Of love for one another

… It’s a long, long road

From which there is no return

While we’re on the way to there

Why not share

… And the load

Doesn’t weigh me down at all

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

… He’s my brother

… He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother

They make mycelium coffins.

Don’t do a water burial in styrofoam—you’ll just drift away.

Aaaacckk! It will stand the rest of time…unfortunately!

Blanche looks like she lost weight lol

It will never degrade! You’ll be preserved better than an Egyptian Mummy!

I’m going to be cremated and my ashes and Chinook’s (Avatar) will be mixed and spread over my dogs cemetery …… :)

The gift that keeps on giving!!

Wrapped in plastic…it’s fantastic…

Compost me!

Put the corpse on ice and chill the beer. Everybody will be happy. Yip yip yip yip yip

Maybe it melts down to a plastic body suit in the furnace?

It will keep you cool anyway.

For the economy minded, there’s the Igloo coolers. For the well-heeled, we recommend the Yeti models!

I have to agree with the pallbearers liking it. I was a pallbearer last week of a tiny woman and the casket felt like we were carrying a piano.

My saying is the quote that starts with “No man is an island” and ends with “ask not for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee!”