Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 05, 2022

The rabbi and the minister have the night off, and since it’s hard for a priest to be funny all on his own, I’ve enlisted the assistance of the convent across the street. (Note: I mean only to amuse, not offend, though I am capable of multitasking.)

Four nuns are in line at the confessional. The first steps in, and says, “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.”“What is your sin, Sister?” asks the priest.“Father, I gazed upon a man’s private parts.”“Go wash out your eyes with Holy Water, my child,” says the priest. The nun leaves.The second nun confesses her sin: “Father, I touched a man’s private parts.”“You must go wash your hands in Holy Water, my child,” says the priest.The fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder. “Excuse me,” she says. “May I go in front of you? I’d really like to gargle with the Holy Water before you sit in it.”

One time there was music on a Windows 96.

May the Lord be with you as He is with me.

Brian Eno composed the Windows 95 start-up music and has been a Mac user for many years.

“You Got Mail” who can forget that?

What was that Taiwanese man doing having an Air Pod in his mouth while asleep?

They say that the most common thing found in NY city sewers these days are earbuds. I’ll stick with the earphones with the wrap-around piece.

So the Airpod went from ear to rear and back to ear? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Stick it in yer ear Taiwan guy.

I dont like the sound of that shat!

Way back in WWII, a military person fighting in overseas combat areas might receive word from their girlfriend, lover, or spouse, that they had found someone else, & didn’t want to wait might be years for them to return, if they returned at all. This was commonly known as receiving a “Dear John” letter. However, farm boys instead, received a “John Deere” letter.

Legos are p*ssed because they always get stepped on.

I don’t think I’d want to use an earbud after it had been encased in feces whether it still worked or not. And I don’t care now good of a sanitization process it went thru. It was in feces. And how in the world did that thing ever get in his mouth while he was sleeping? It’s a miracle he didn’t choke on it.

The Lego ‘Fact’ is simply this: In years’ past lego people only had the one happy face. Later lego added different faces, some of them angry faces. Therefore now by simple percentages lego faces are ‘angrier’. You can use the same logic to technically say “The winner of next year’s Wimbledon tennis tournament will have more than the average number of arms.”

The look on the Lego’s face is nothing compared to that of those who inadvertently step on one of them.

Take care, may prolific screaming parent Yvonne “I Wanted To Get Them Pokemon Stuff But No-oo You Had To Get Legos And Now My Toes Are Bleeding” Yeeoword be with you, and gesundheit.

I posted a joke like this last night, but it went away. I think I accidentally touched the delete icon. It’s an oldie, but it’s topical.

A blonde was walking down the street wearing earbuds. A friend of hers stops her, and tries to talk to her.

The blonde just stares at the friend, keeping the earbuds in her ears, so the friend removes them and the blonde stops breathing.

The friend quickly puts the earbuds back in and she starts breathing again.

The friend tries it again, and the blonde stops breathing.

The friend takes out only one ear bud, and sticks it in her ear and hears:

“Breathe in, breathe out, breath in…"

Until next time.

The Legos are getting cheated out of their share of the movie rights.

And here’s the playlist for that earbud: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1E4AQdxV3RuGbn

How big is an AirPod? And why would he have it in his mouth??

I gather Legos are coming from China.

i once passed 2 ear buds through my digestive system

LEGO faces have gotten angrier… and more blissful, more confused, fearful… in short, they’re showing more emotion in general than the original ubiquitous vapid smile.

Some LEGO heads are reversible, with two different expressions (depending on which one is covered by the hairpiece).

Brian Eno? Really?

How the heck did he swallow it in his sleep?

We all swallow in our sleep; it’s a reflex. We swallow saliva. So if something else is in the mouth, like a spider or an Air Pod, it gets swallowed, too.