Reality Check by Dave Whamond for April 10, 2022

That was just someones gut feeling.

Crack jack wants that diploma back

And it’s easier than cutting through the rib cage.

He left it in San Francisco!

Put him back together with Velcro; it’ll be easier and quicker next time.

Hey Dave, you’ve got incoming from female surgeons. Duck and cover!

Well, if she heard it somewhere, it must be true.

Dr Cath’y

It’s a shorter route than through the thigh. The incision for my dad’s valve replacement was through the thigh, up the artery and into the heart, all arthroscopically.

♫ “The thigh bone’s connected to the … hip bone. ♫

♫ The hip bone’s connected to the … red thing. ♫

♫ The red thing’s connected to my … wristwatch. … Uh oh.”

- – - as sung by Dr. Nick Riviera while performing surgery in an episode of The Simpsons

Getting the throat sliced open again to remove the steel plate they put in wrong when they fused C5, 6 & 7. I am gonna get a zipper head tattooed at the end of the new scar in a year or two. The scar will run from my Carotid Artery on one side all the way across.

The woman who thinks the way to a man’s heart is thru his stomach is setting her sights too high.

The door should read “CardiACK Warning” …!

Fired. Right now.

Just cut upward about a foot from there. That’s about how long my scar is.

Which makes as much sense as what men believe about women.

Decent joke, but the first time I heard it, it was referenced to Dr Christian Barnard. Nowadays, you’d need to have a lot of bday candles like me (and an elephant’s memory) or be a Jeopardy nerd to know the name.