Why waste a good theme? Muslims may behead you if you diss them, but the Irish will often buy you a beer. I’ll go with the odds – especially in small-town Ireland, where everybody knows everybody else:
A secret agent parachutes into the Irish countryside near a small village to make contact with a spy in that village. All he knows about the spy is his name, O’Brien, and the code phrase “The crows fly at midnight.” After disposing of his parachute, he stealthily enters the town. Seeing an establishment called Murphy’s Pub, he decides his first stop should be orientation and refreshment, not necessarily in that order. So he goes in and orders a beer. As he sits down, a constable who happened to be in the pub says, “Hello, stranger. May I help you in any way?”
The agent figures, why not? So he says, “Yes, Constable. I’m looking for a man named O’Brien.”
“Well,” the constable starts, “There are several O’Brien in this town. See those two drunk twins at the bar? Their names are O’Brien. That beat-up man in the corner? He’s an O’Brien, as well. There’s a shopkeeper O’Brien, a farrier O’Brien…in fact, me own name is O’Brien!”
“It is?”
“Sure’n truth, it is.”
What do I have to lose? the agent thinks to himself. So he clears his throat, and says to the constable, “The crows fly at midnight.”
The lawman breaks into a knowing grin. “Oh, ‘tis O’Brien the spy you’d be wantin’!”
Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin and Boris Johnson had a near death experience together.
They met God and his closest angels, who told them that their time wasn’t up yet but that each of them could ask one question.
Biden went first. He asked “God, when will the Coronavirus pandemic end?” God made a sign to his angels. They went away and after 30 seconds they came back and whispered into God’s ear. God replied to Biden “Not in your term in office”.
Putin went next. He asked “God, when will communism overtake capitalism as the dominant world system?"
God made a sign to his angels and they went away. After 10 minutes they came back and whispered into God’s ear. God replied to Putin “Not in your term in office”.
Johnson went last. He asked “God, when will world leaders be honest and care for the people instead of working purely to line their pockets?”
God made a sign to his angels and they went away. After five hours they came back exhausted and whispered into god’s ear. God replied to Johnson “Not in MY term in office”.
Take care, may mean-spirited TV show Shark Tank enthusiast Vickie “If That Barbara Lady Can Think She’s Beautiful So Can I And If You Don’t Agree I’m Out And Off For More Cosmetic Surgery” Tubbord be with you, and gesundheit.
Four guys are in a bar; one of them has a completely flat head. The other three keep buying him drinks, each time loudly proclaiming, “And another for the flat head* hero here!”
Finally the bartender asks what’s up.
“None of us would be here if it weren’t for our flat head* friend,” says one guy. “We work construction, and a bunch of beams caved in on all of us. That guy’s head held up the beams until we could get out!”
“That is amazing,” the bartender agrees. “And did he get those scars on his chin from the collapse as well?”
“No,” says the guy. “That’s where we put the jack.”
Why, before I [enter your facetious “improvement” here], I couldn’t even spit over my chin! But now that I [repeat above], I can spit all over my chin! Example: Why, before I read today’s RBION joke-fest, I couldn’t even …
eromlig about 2 years ago
Why waste a good theme? Muslims may behead you if you diss them, but the Irish will often buy you a beer. I’ll go with the odds – especially in small-town Ireland, where everybody knows everybody else:
A secret agent parachutes into the Irish countryside near a small village to make contact with a spy in that village. All he knows about the spy is his name, O’Brien, and the code phrase “The crows fly at midnight.” After disposing of his parachute, he stealthily enters the town. Seeing an establishment called Murphy’s Pub, he decides his first stop should be orientation and refreshment, not necessarily in that order. So he goes in and orders a beer. As he sits down, a constable who happened to be in the pub says, “Hello, stranger. May I help you in any way?”
The agent figures, why not? So he says, “Yes, Constable. I’m looking for a man named O’Brien.”
“Well,” the constable starts, “There are several O’Brien in this town. See those two drunk twins at the bar? Their names are O’Brien. That beat-up man in the corner? He’s an O’Brien, as well. There’s a shopkeeper O’Brien, a farrier O’Brien…in fact, me own name is O’Brien!”
“It is?”
“Sure’n truth, it is.”
What do I have to lose? the agent thinks to himself. So he clears his throat, and says to the constable, “The crows fly at midnight.”
The lawman breaks into a knowing grin. “Oh, ‘tis O’Brien the spy you’d be wantin’!”
jasonsnakelover about 2 years ago
One time I tripled my body mass.
May the Lord be with you.
Caldonia about 2 years ago
The chin fearers must be secretly glad people have been wearing masks for so long. And that shark sounds adorable!
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
Answers direct from the source.
Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin and Boris Johnson had a near death experience together.
They met God and his closest angels, who told them that their time wasn’t up yet but that each of them could ask one question.
Biden went first. He asked “God, when will the Coronavirus pandemic end?” God made a sign to his angels. They went away and after 30 seconds they came back and whispered into God’s ear. God replied to Biden “Not in your term in office”.
Putin went next. He asked “God, when will communism overtake capitalism as the dominant world system?"
God made a sign to his angels and they went away. After 10 minutes they came back and whispered into God’s ear. God replied to Putin “Not in your term in office”.
Johnson went last. He asked “God, when will world leaders be honest and care for the people instead of working purely to line their pockets?”
God made a sign to his angels and they went away. After five hours they came back exhausted and whispered into god’s ear. God replied to Johnson “Not in MY term in office”.
Until next time.
Dean about 2 years ago
Underwater “Grunt like a hog”? — Who could hear that?
Technicholls about 2 years ago
Does this bother you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hul-b4hpeIw
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 2 years ago
Sounds like my ex, doubling her biomass daily.
Take care, may mean-spirited TV show Shark Tank enthusiast Vickie “If That Barbara Lady Can Think She’s Beautiful So Can I And If You Don’t Agree I’m Out And Off For More Cosmetic Surgery” Tubbord be with you, and gesundheit.
pbr50138 about 2 years ago
I haven’t seen my chin since April 1970, when I was discharged from the Marines and started growing a beard.
mindjob about 2 years ago
Duckweed almost looks like the water lilies in Monet’s paintings
artegal about 2 years ago
I present today’s featured speaker at the geniophobia convention, Mr. Jay Leno!
Saddenedby Premium Member about 2 years ago
geniophobia 2 is the fear of people resting their chins on the top of your head. 3 believes
poppacapsmokeblower about 2 years ago
Boy, underwater grunts sound weird.
FassEddie about 2 years ago
Four guys are in a bar; one of them has a completely flat head. The other three keep buying him drinks, each time loudly proclaiming, “And another for the flat head* hero here!”
Finally the bartender asks what’s up.
“None of us would be here if it weren’t for our flat head* friend,” says one guy. “We work construction, and a bunch of beams caved in on all of us. That guy’s head held up the beams until we could get out!”
“That is amazing,” the bartender agrees. “And did he get those scars on his chin from the collapse as well?”
“No,” says the guy. “That’s where we put the jack.”
*changed from a racist slur.
paranormal about 2 years ago
Is duckweed the same as hydrilla?
Nicole ♫ ⊱✿ ◕‿◕✿⊰♫ Premium Member about 2 years ago
Image of the Angular Roughshark: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/angular-roughshark-deepsea-species-costa-brava-spain-jordi-chias—natureplcom.html
ekke about 2 years ago
Why, before I [enter your facetious “improvement” here], I couldn’t even spit over my chin! But now that I [repeat above], I can spit all over my chin! Example: Why, before I read today’s RBION joke-fest, I couldn’t even …
SpaceBuckaroo about 2 years ago
Okay, so now we have a Pig Shark.
Ron Bauerle about 2 years ago
Seems like there s/b a separate fear of those upside-down chins with googly eyes pasted on them…