Steve Silver went the long way around the barn last night for a superannuated chicken – or, should I say parrot? No matter. The one I’m dusting off tonight may also be a bit long in the tooth…but the tooth is still sharp. Of course all y’all will be the judges of that…
A nice, calm and respectable lady goes into the pharmacy, walks up to the pharmacist, looks straight into his eyes, and says, “I would like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asks, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
“I need it to poison my husband,” she replies.
The pharmacist’s eyes bug out. “Lord have mercy!” he exclaims. I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband, that’s against the law! & I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”The lady reaches into her purse and pulls out a photograph of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist looks at the picture and replies, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
It’s been a while since I had a really great joke. I hope this one gets a few chuckles.
A couple has a dog who snores. Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s “marbles” and he will stop snoring.
’Yeah right!" she says.
That night, a few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual.
The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog’s “marbles”. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband’s “marbles”. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
Sometime during the night the husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog’s “marbles” as well.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, “I don’t know where we were, or, what we did, but, by God, we took first and second place.”
Richards should try his hand at the Wanamaker Organ in Philadelphia. It’s the largest fully-functional pipe organ on the planet. Bought in the early 20th century for a flagship department store, it’s now inside a Macy’s that occupies part of the old John Wanamaker store.
Take care, may anticipated ice box service man Ralph “If Your Apartment Is Above The Second Floor I Forgot Your Address” Jacksord be with you, and gesundheit.
So if I understand correctly, the glacier was thawed to a state where the couple froze and then it is thawing to the previous state of 1942? So the question is about the global warming from 1942 to now, something doesn’t add up.
This is to say thanks to ALL of you who have made me laugh, often hysterically, since I started reading the comments & jokes on R.B.I.O.N.. Today’s my Birthday but I feel like I get gifts off laughter from you EVERY day & on the really painful days laughter is an even greater gift!
eromlig over 2 years ago
Steve Silver went the long way around the barn last night for a superannuated chicken – or, should I say parrot? No matter. The one I’m dusting off tonight may also be a bit long in the tooth…but the tooth is still sharp. Of course all y’all will be the judges of that…
A nice, calm and respectable lady goes into the pharmacy, walks up to the pharmacist, looks straight into his eyes, and says, “I would like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asks, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
“I need it to poison my husband,” she replies.
The pharmacist’s eyes bug out. “Lord have mercy!” he exclaims. I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband, that’s against the law! & I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”The lady reaches into her purse and pulls out a photograph of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist looks at the picture and replies, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
jasonsnakelover over 2 years ago
Rohn Jichards One time I was 21 years old. One time I played 95 organs.
Darcelin Mumoulin Dancine Frumoulin One time I was 76 years old.
May the Lord be with you.
monkeysky over 2 years ago
Good for Richards. I’ve always loved organ music, but I’ve never played any myself.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
It’s been a while since I had a really great joke. I hope this one gets a few chuckles.
A couple has a dog who snores. Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s “marbles” and he will stop snoring.
’Yeah right!" she says.
That night, a few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual.
The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog’s “marbles”. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband’s “marbles”. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
Sometime during the night the husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog’s “marbles” as well.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, “I don’t know where we were, or, what we did, but, by God, we took first and second place.”
Until next time.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
It took Mr. Richards since 1996 to do his cross-country organ recital? Wow.
I’m not a flautist nor a musician in general, but I am ancestrally part German. So I would hate to have the schand Flote as my punishment.
fischlclan over 2 years ago
We just got Rick rolled in a comic strip…
OldsVistaCruiser over 2 years ago
Richards should try his hand at the Wanamaker Organ in Philadelphia. It’s the largest fully-functional pipe organ on the planet. Bought in the early 20th century for a flagship department store, it’s now inside a Macy’s that occupies part of the old John Wanamaker store.
tremaine53 over 2 years ago
The important thing is, somebody gets shamed! Difficult to believe that this tradition didn’t originate with the bagpipes or banjo.
Technicholls over 2 years ago
Good thing Guitar Bob from Andy Capp’s strip didn’t play in Medieval Germany. ;-}
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
And thus the invention of the harmonica.
Take care, may anticipated ice box service man Ralph “If Your Apartment Is Above The Second Floor I Forgot Your Address” Jacksord be with you, and gesundheit.
preacherman over 2 years ago
The Flute of Shame looks more like an oboe.
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
Guess I won’t go to Germany and tell them I bombed out of piano lessons….
Space_cat over 2 years ago
With all the crappy “music” around, maybe we should bring the Schand Floten back!
Julie478 Premium Member over 2 years ago
Did we just get Rick Rolled?
dpatrickryan Premium Member over 2 years ago
Hey! Why the hating on Rick?
Gweedo -it's legal here- Murray over 2 years ago
rsam Came up “minus” about 18 hours ago
Here is Alvin.
https://alvinlaw.com/about/
donnagant622 Premium Member over 2 years ago
Loved it!
schaefer jim over 2 years ago
Funny, who came in third?
Doug DuBois over 2 years ago
So if I understand correctly, the glacier was thawed to a state where the couple froze and then it is thawing to the previous state of 1942? So the question is about the global warming from 1942 to now, something doesn’t add up.
mbakerbr549 over 2 years ago
This is to say thanks to ALL of you who have made me laugh, often hysterically, since I started reading the comments & jokes on R.B.I.O.N.. Today’s my Birthday but I feel like I get gifts off laughter from you EVERY day & on the really painful days laughter is an even greater gift!