Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 20, 2022

Seems there was this man who went out on the links, and his tee shot hit the ball, but badly sliced. It bounced off the clubhouse roof, hit a tree, and finally caromed onto the green, where it rolled into the hole for an ace.

His companion remarked, “You didn’t tell me you’d been practicing.”

I bet Jason can hang by two toes.

One time I was holding on by two toes.

One time I weighed 460,721 pounds.

May the Lord be with you.

Japan not only has Saint Valentine’s Day, but also White Day on 14 March where the men give women something coloured white in return for the present the women gave men.

But that’s only 115,180 gallons of milk. Where’s the competitive spirit??

Someone should inform the colorist that Holstein cows are black & white, & definitely not brown like a Jersey cow.

Since when is a quantity of milk measured in pounds? It’s a liquid, use pints or gallons or litres.

Hang in there little fella, Geico’s gecko will save you!

Two cannabis were eating a novelist. The husband said “I just know this writer’s gonna block my colon.”

Fifteen minutes will save on toe insurance.

The Buttles family’s of Lancaster, Wisconsin, record milk producing Holstein cow, Hilda, was found to be actually a gender fluid bull. “Ew, David” ~ Alexis Rose

On Christmas Eve in Japan, Santa Claus doesn’t come down a chimney but rather… never mind.

Spoiler Alert. Tomorrow we will be told that a gecko has no eyelids but licks its eyeballs to keep them moist and sells insurance on TV. Believe It of Not!

But do they surf?

Take care, may lost Apple employee Sean “Huh?” Ripcord be with you, and gesundheit.

Who measures milk in pounds?

Cows need bulls, but hopefully this story isn’t a load of bull.

A farmer has dozens of cows and two bulls, but both bulls are too old to mate anymore.

One day the famer brings a third bull into the field. The new bull is much younger than the other two, and immediately starts mating with cow after cow.

When the old bulls see this, one of them starts huffing, snorting, and scraping the ground with his hoof.

“Don’t bother competing with that guy,” says the other old bull. “You’re too old. He’d laugh at you.”

“I’m not trying to compete with him,” replies the first old bull. “I just want him to know I’m not a cow.”

Until next time.

So why does Japan, a non-Christian nation, celebrate Christmas?

Shouldn’t milk be measured in gallons?

Buttles? You must mean Tuttles

…and then Hilda, after years of producing milk, went dry because she didn’t get pregnant and was sold to some slaughterhouse to become hamburger. Dairy cows are very low in fat and make good hamburger. Such is the future of dairy cows that don’t get pregnant.

Milk is measured in pounds by producers. And also is sold by butterfat content. (I worked at a dairy for two years back around 1970.)

Does Japan even celebrate Christmas? I’m pretty sure they practice either Shinto or Buddhism. And – is that a fork? That’s as likely as Americans having dinner tonight with chopsticks.

Most “retired” dairy cows are sold to dog food companies, the “lucky” ones are butchered by the owner and used for beef. I wonder what became of Hilda after she retired.

Ah….Ripley cartoonist, that’s not a holstein cow. They are black and white. What you have there is more…well, I’ve no idea what breed that might be….heh heh

Can’t sleep? Have a glass of milk – Believe it or Not.