Strange Brew by John Deering for October 22, 2021

There’s also go live in the wilderness, which is a lot more difficult, but no roadkill.

Oooh, that’s bleak

At least he didn’t say, “Let’s run over these options again”! :D

Our first dog killed a few as well.

He forgot number six, ate bad garbage.

Star in episode of “North Woods Law”.

I encounter quite a few woodland critters who apparently want to be roadkill, but so far I’ve always been able to disappoint them.

I once worked with a retired Army general. He relayed a story of when he was stationed at Ft. Bliss. (I’ve been there, the name is not necessarily descriptive). He called the MPs to tell them, “You’ll be hearing the sound of some gunshots in the vicinity of my quarters. Don’t be alarmed, I’m just knocking off some armadillos.”

Then he retired and moved to the town where I lived and took care of a woodpecker that was pounding in his roof in the same way as he dealt with the armadillos, much to the display of the local police.

I had to go to his house once. He asked me if I knew how to get there. I told him that I knew what street he lived on and I’d just drive along until I saw the house with the dead woodpecker on the roof.

I had two raccoons living under my shed! They came out at night up to the patio and ate all the fallen birdseed. One day someone hit one at the end of my drive and took off. I had to call the city to come get the poor fellow! He was huge!

My car had a 50 mph encounter with a raccoon, so I had to drive a rental car for 3 months while my car sat at the repair garage waiting on a backordered part. Beware of raccoons sitting in the road at night!

It seems the instructor fits the rule of those you can DO and those who can’t TEACH. Forgets the top three in the food pyramid – garbage cans, pet’s food bowl, restaurant dumpster.

No trash can?

Several years ago the local raccoons started coming out in the middle of the day to kill my free range chickens. My husband finally was able to shoot one, but it crawled away somewhere to die. A few days later I brought home a puppy to turn into a guard dog for chickens and she kept disappearing in the bushes. When the horrible worms started showing up in her poo, I knew why she had been in the bushes.

Eating too many fish flavored rodenticide pellets might do it.

“Career options ?” More like retirement options.

Until recently, humanity’s options weren’t much better. Remember, a long time ago one sign of old age was acne.

At least according to one of the rare non-drawn out articles in MAD magazine.

Get shot by fur hunters.

How about Davy Crockett hat?