Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for May 30, 2021

I would be happy to adopt Lulu, and her bank account.

so Woah Nebster must’ve defined how many words per year? that must be quite some writer’s cramp

“Fingers do not contain muscles (other than arrector pili). The muscles that move the finger joints are in the palm and forearm. The long tendons that deliver motion from the forearm muscles may be observed to move under the skin at the wrist and on the back of the hand.”

If my fingers had muscles, maybe there would be less room for arthritis.

After a day’s work in mosquito season, my skin sometimes resembles the manatee’s nematode population.

With $5 million at stake, I bet that dog has more friends than fleas.

Webster’s work has been the mainstay of the English language ever since he wrote it. As older words become obsolete, more new words are coined, more every year. Unfortunately, the uses of the words, the grammar, and the quality of the output have faded just as fast.

Whatever anyone else says, I don’t see emojis as true communication. They have no feeling and they encourage users to repeat the same symbols for communicating, thus stifling individual expression. But, that is in keeping with doing anything the easy way. Quality always comes last or never.

Manatees, sad to say, are dying off due to a shortage of sea grass, their primary food source.

What? Then what’s that soft parts on the inner side of the fingers?

And it took Google just a few days to crawl that dictionary and put him outta business.

Hey Lulu. How about feeding some of your poor hungry pals and taking em off the streets? No? Why you rich snob!

A border collie with about $5 million on one side and a manatee with about half a million microscopic nematodes on the other – which of the two would YOU like to have as a pet?

Hey Lulu, Let’s get hitched; I identify as a border collie.

wow, and i thought tokyo was crowded…

He didn’t consult his thesaurus.

Take care, may famed paleontologist Dr. Asa Osseusord be with you, and gesundheit.

When Noah Webster finished writing his dictionary, I wonder how many words he used in his definitions weren’t defined in the dictionary?

Wonder how Lulu’s estate will be decided?

I’m told I have Roman hands and Russian fingers but I forgot my fingers have no muscle memory.

Webster would have been finished sooner but got delayed on procrastinate.

Manatee skin housing is in shortage as well.

Lulu has since received 37 proposals of marriage.

Now, who wants to kill Lulu to get their hands on all that money?

If Webster could see a modern dictionary bearing his name, he’d see that a lot of words from his time are considered archaic now and wonder what sort of nonsense the new stuff is. :p (selfie? woke? texting? turnt? krunk?)

Well, who died and left Webster in charge of the English language. Probably nobody else wanted to waste 27 years of their life.

If someone accuses you of “fat-fingering,” you don’t get to claim it’s muscle.

QUIT DELETING! I MAKE PLENTY OF COMMENTS ON OTHER COMICS THAT YOU CAN DELETE ALL YOU WANT!

Woah Nebster

Dill Borris One time I inherited $5 million 1 dollars.

May the Lord be with you.

Interesting book called “The Professor and the Madman” about prison inmate William Chester Minor who devoted years providing definitions to the OED. He became friends with the professor who was compiling them. Made into a movie with Sean Penn. I wonder which part he played.

At long last Lulu can buy the meat market she’s always dreamed of…

money to a dog……..what a waste…Bill needed counseling but now it’s too late

Here, Lulu! Here, Sweetie!

I’m more impressed that Noah learned 28 languages in creating the dictionary.

But apparently Noah Webster had nothing good to say about cats. Ah well….

I wonder who’ll get Lulu’s money, when she passes?

It is said that Noah Webster cleaned up the Bible, changing words like “stink” to “smell” and “whore” to “lewd woman.”