Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for February 28, 2021

If you are a fat woman, I am, why bother asking? You already know the answer.

Better yet, make tracks for the Possum Lodge!

“I am a man.

I can change.

If I have to.

I guess."

Gives you a head start on your getaway.

Walt is smart enough to jump backwards, jacket up, and head for the pub.

Does the 5th Amendment apply in this situation?

A certain expression in her direction suffices.

“No, you’re not fat; you’re pleasingly plump.”

“Why in the world would you think you need to ask that question?”

Oh, Walt, Walt, Walt, you forgot the triple exclams!!! ☺

It’s a shame that women should have to even feel the need to ask that question.

Be very careful to not be TOO enthusiastic about how good she looks – it invites harassment allegations.

Aunty, you sound like Hyacinth Bucket, I mean Bouquet…

So you’re OK with us lying.

You also can’t answer too quickly. Like before she finishes the question.

True reply: “Honey, I always love you. I know that you’re unhappy with your weight, and I will be glad to help if you would like that. Know this, however: whatever happens, I will always love you.” And twenty years later, she is happily losing the the weight she wants to. Sticking with her for the long haul, and being there when she makes the decision, is what’s working for us.

“You gotta ask me? You mean the doctor telling you to lose weight wasn’t a hint?”

I once had a girlfriend ask me that while we were out shopping.

She was trying something on and asked me “The Question”.

I just looked at her for a few seconds, then I said:

“How could it make your Butt look Fat? – You Don’t Have A Butt.”