Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for January 28, 2021

At least it’s not a 404 disease!!

/SNARK/

It’s terminal.

My wife is a Congregational Nurse. Her job is to provide medical advice and access to care to the faith-based community. In practice she is also the neighborhood nurse regardless of what church they go or don’t go to. She even does telephone triage: she gets pictures of body parts on her phone (NO, not that kind! Usually it’s of rashes and cuts and such).

Her advice ranges from, “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.” to “Hang up and dial 911 immediately!”

She hates Web MD. People call her up stating that they have this or that disease or ask about taking some sort of bogus cure for a symptom.

I found a Minion cartoon that states, “Never ask Google for medical advice. I went from having a mild headache to clinically dead in three clicks.”

Yeah, but still being around sure beats the alternative.

Suffering from excessive time on planet earth

I resemble that comment!

He’s just confirming online what his mirror has been telling him for years.

Another website indicates joint pain and itching are zombie-like symptoms.

Luck of the draw.. but feel free to try again.

The bad diagnosis is : UNJUST YOUNG and UNJUST OLD.

I’m just young yet… still learning.

Old sucks. I’m 80 and every morning when I get up, I’m sure I’ll be dead by tomorrow.

It happens to us all at some point!

I AM NOT OLD. I have just lived for a long time.

“What a drag it is gettin old…………….”

There is a cure for growing old, but the side effects are murder.

Age gracefully and enjoy the things you still can do!

Doesn’t sound like something WebMD would say, usually it’s “You’re gonna die”.

Nice

There’s a lot of that going around.

The Cat in the Hat on Aging, Dr Seuss

ref: https://annahibbard.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/seuss-aging1.jpg

——————-

I cannot see

I cannot pee

I cannot chew

I cannot screw

Oh my god, what can I do?

My memory shrinks

My hearing stinks

No sense of smell

I look like hell

My mood is bad – can you tell?

My body’s drooping

Have trouble pooping

The Golden Years

have come at last

The Golden Years

can kiss my ass.