The Duplex by Glenn McCoy for January 11, 2021

I WISH someone played Beatles on hold!

I’m good if they play Mozart!

My ringtone is The Beatles ‘Hey, Bulldog’ “You can talk to me, you can talk to meeee, if you’re lonely you can talk to me…”

Well at least it isn’t a God called FIRE!!!

“Thank you for waiting. Brutus P Thornapple here. How may I hinder you?”

They switched to Donald Trump’s new personal theme song, since we’re so tired of all the winning at this point.

I wonder how you get into the hold music provider industry?

But even the losers get lucky sometimes.

The Donald Trump hotline.

Not the best music selection for this sort of thing.

“Leave ‘em hangin’ on the line, ohh, calling Gloria!”

Maybe this song is the reason so many people can’t spell “loser”.

At least Eno recognizes that he has a problem and is trying to get help. Way to go, E.

So you admit you’re a loser.

I just wish people could learn the difference between lose and loose. (Comments on this thread have been good about that, but I see that misuse all the time).

Eddie Lawrence – The Old Philosopher ……….Can be heard on youtube and dr demento

Hiya folks ……….Ya say ya lost your job today? ……….Ya say its 4 A.M. and your kids ain’t home from school yet? ……….Ya say your wife went out for a corned beef sandwich last weekend – the corned beef sandwich came back but she didn’t? ……….Ya say your furniture is out all over the sidewalk cause ya can’t pay the rent and ya got chapped lips and paper cuts and your feets all swollen up and blistered from pounding the pavement looking for work? ……….Is that whats troubling ya fellow?

REFRAIN

Well lift your head up high and take a walk in the sun with dignity and stick-to-it-ness and ya show the world, ………. ya show the world where to get off ……….You’ll never give up, never give up, never give up…that ship!

Hey there friend ……….Ya say your radiators never worked all winter and now that its summer they started up again and ya can’t turn them off? ……….Ya say your wife sent your light weight suits to the cleaners and that means you’ll have to wear your itchy tweeds this morning when they say it’ll hit 106 and ya gotta meet an important business man in an hour and your bridge just broke and ya pasted it together with bubble gum and ya hope it dont fall apart while you’re doing some fast talking to this man? ……….And – and your shoelace just busted and ya opened a big cut on your cheek trying to even out your sideburns and your daughters going out with a convict and your wife just confessed she gave your last sixty dollars as a deposit on an air plane hanger? ……….Is that whats troubling ya, friend?

REFRAIN