Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for September 18, 2020

Why does this make me think of a story I heard of… the Best Man threw a Bachelor Party. The party was an over the top success… where as everyone showed up to the wedding either still drunk or a massive hangover. But…. as per the tradition of the country (Iceland?) newspaper births are announced in the paper with BOTH proud parents. Nine Months after the party – the Best Man was shown in four of five picture of children. The fifth didn’t have a photo… just his name. Guess he finally got tired! ;)

Just checking to see if I need a fake alibi

He should have Pettifogger with him, for legal advice. Just in case he did something really stupid.

From an old WC Fields movie:

Fields to bartender: Was I in here last night and did I spend $20?

Bartender: Yes

Fields: Thank god! I thought I lost it.

(keep in mind, a drink probably cost less than .50 then)

…so he can do it again tonight!

Tough, but I’m sure she knows what you did last summer…

So Bung,…..You don’t remember the name of the girl who was sleeping next to you when you woke up? That’s very bad form Bung. You should at least write her name down and put someplace where you can find it the next morning.

You where hanging out on roof tops calling yourself the Grape Crusader. What else do you want to know.

You put on a cape and pretended to be Vat-Man (https://www.gocomics.com/wizardofid/2020/09/15?ct=v&cti=2208697)!

Soaking up the booze might be one possibility

If it isn’t in the newspaper, don’t worry about i.

In some instances, it’s best to leave the past in the past….especially this one….

Spend a dime and get a news paper. Better yet, check your twitter feed.

You really don’t want to know.

The letterer must have the day off…

I’m guessing this part involved Vegas, light shows and waking up with a tiger in your room….

“You don’t want to know.”

Bung got legs??

She tells the future, not the past…

Trust me Bung, you’re better off not knowing.

Now THAT’S how you party!!!

I woke up in a Soho doorwayA policeman knew my nameHe said “You can go sleep at home tonightIf you can get up and walk away”

Time to cut back on the ale!

kids. we have to double up in showers so new foster kid who hogs house phone in her room has her own bathroom to smoke Molly. I never felt like a bad mother but now… I seriously need a new life…. A man would be an answered prayer too but at least I don’t have a seagull squawking telephone that cost more than my rent. OH! And I am SINGLE, smack in the middle of drug town… a block from their last treatment center trying to comprehend how a 25 year old can have 5 kids. I may be too old for this. DEFINITELY celibate (Mother of G*D)

And…I discovered a new tattoo with your business name on it!

Need to go back 2 days so she can tell you the future.

Not a big fan of the new font…