Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for May 20, 2020

Spit shine shoe boy is next…

I was a paperboy..

Walked 5 miles uphill delivering papers.

Then walked 5 miles uphill home.,

Doggone paper boy!

Rex just wanted to make sure he could never, ever again be swatted with a rolled up newspaper!

Papers., Hand Delivered,… Who’d of thunk ?

The UPS and downs of a FEDEX general population, was not overnight sensations..

…what’s black and white and read all over?…

…I, too, was a paperboy…

…my route started at the local bar and ended at the dairy…

…forgot about the last paperboy…

…what about the last newspaper?…

… my Dad was a paperboy…

…my sons were…

…The last Froglandia Gossip paperboy swallowed a horse…

…now, that’s a story!…

…I used to have a round ring…

…[more like a key ring than finger ring]…

…that held my customer collection cards that I would punch when I got paid…

…Mrs. McGrellgol wore a see through top one Friday evening…

…first see through top I ever saw…

…I could get a can of Coke and a candy bar for a quarter…

…and I always folded my papers in such a way they’d break a window when I threw them…

Morning Final.

Then why do I keep getting annoying emails from my Local Fishwrap asking me if I want to join their corps of dedicated delivery people (who by the way drive cars filled with the dust of newsprint)?

The printed news is kind of dinosaur, though, always living in yesterday.

Homer Simpson only has 3 fingers? Why does Her paperboy have 4?

This last paperboy is using a Trojan..

I used to love holding a real newspaper and drinking coffee in the morning….but in retrospect, they always piled up, left my fingers black and ended up throwing them out. Now they deliver 3-4 times a week, throw it on the tree lawn….and I don’t read a one. It was free for 6 months and can’t wait till that’s over.

“Granpa, if you used to be a paperboy, when did you turn into a real boy?”

I delivered the Berkeley Gazette on a motorcycle.

All the print fit to news …!

Helped my cousin in Detroit deliver the Detroit Free Press one day. We walked down the streets, both sides, and when we tossed the paper we had to shout, “FAREE-PARESS”. I live a long way from Detroit now, and my “Today” paper comes in a plastic bag thrown from a car window. It was the first paper I ever got that had two full pages of color comics on weekdays. Still addicted to comics, but “Spiderman” has become woefully stupid. “Dilbert” wears a mask now. Don’t know how long that will go on. Color comics down to one page now.

If that had been a paper tiger, instead of a paper tapir (or hippo), we would have had something.

Paper maiche dragon or not, it’s easy to be devoured by the news; got to know when to fold ‘em, when to walk away.

https://youtu.be/mKDxK7nNE0A

I have better things to read about.

But I will say that I hope he’s digestible.

Besides, the job is at best obsolescent….

Straight from the horse’s mouth