Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 04, 2018

She’s the sort that looks at your palm and goes “AAAARGH!”

Just remember, when you die, as far as you’re concerned, the world really has ended!

There are some misanthropes who do find joy in these dark times.

So is the madam amused by the misfortune she reads?

I can always manage cases of misfortune as long as it’s someone else’s.

We already have a bunch of those. They’re in the leaker du jour group in the White House, which has become a slightly dusty brown by now.

Where’s the line Drive By Reporters?

“I see a dark future for you – Ha ha ha!”

While walking down Queens Blvd. recently I passed a “Psychic Reader” storefront. Noticed a doorbell. Thought to myself, “Why does a psychic NEED a doorbell?”

“I’m ready to be a believer.” This is of course exactly how these scam artists work: They tell you what you want to believe.

A niece of mine once offered to do a tarot card reading for me. I declined, saying that if the cards were accurate, she would be so horrified by what they showed, she would never do another reading.

Always strike a happy medium.

Either those people are midgets or her main customers are basketball players.

adiraiju: how did you know she was a pirate?

On the heels of Miss Fortune…

I always wanted to be a medium. Alas, I’m now an extra-large.

The seer’s real name is: Cassandra Nongqawuse !

Her day job is reading the news, she knows misfortune alright.

“You are going to be governed by a stout blond with small hands, and .. oh, you know the rest”

Still better than “Madam Sandler”, which is really just Adam Sandler in a fortune teller costume.