F Minus by Tony Carrillo for December 11, 2017

that last one is going to be quite tricky (on a family road trip after stopping for breakfast at a restaurant, the waitress was dumbfounded when I requested my eggs to be hard-boiled)

How about deep fried?

“Shirred” ought to slow him down a bit.

Fried on a sidewalk? Nope, that one’s taken.

Pressed hard enough to form into a diamond.

So he placed the egg in his shoe and beat it.

In a toaster.

cedar plank, sunny

Shooting them out of a cannon should cook it, but the problem is finding a plate strong enough to catch it!

Drawn and quartered.

Just read that eggs can be cooked with the milk steamer on your espresso machine.

Where’s the bottle of spit he usually keeps on the shelf?

“Engine block eggs it is.”

The pleats in a chef’s torque represent the number of ways a chef has learned to prepare eggs. No pleats in his torque, so any way is new.

Hard boiled. Peeled. Wrapped in bacon and dipped in pancake batter, and then fried.