Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 06, 2014

It would save time and pens to put little dots everywhere the stupid people aren’t.

“I have a map of the United States, actual size.” (Steven Wright)

I never knew that cartographers dress like bookies.

Rat! I heard you! I’m overnighting a case of pens to you now, and the rest of the order is going by truck. Don’t give up the good work!

Rat, which dot is yours ?

Can’t we all just wear an idiot pin? We can put a ribbon on it in support of human folly.

Rat, you could save time and just dye the page solid black!

Actually, we’re right here!

Laugh out loud. Sadly too true.

I thought that was the purpose of those maps at the mall with the little arrows that say “You are here.”

@Number Six and others—www.portmeirion-village.com

This place is (pardon the expression) Number Two on my list of places I want to visit in Wales.Number One is “Llanfairpwll……………………………………goch”Feel free to fill in the other letters!

Way back in the mid-seventies we were bidding for a database system to keep track of ‘enemies of the state’ to some unpleasant military regime or other. My boss asked whether it wouldn’t be better to keep track of the friends. Surprisingly the Colonel in charge had a sense of humor and we got the business.

It’s a map of where Hollywood and TV celebrities live….

From this we get the word, “dumbographics”.

As the saying goes, “Stupid should hurt.”

Desire often (usually?) trumps mere pain. Indeed, enduring pain becomes a badge of honor with us humans. Not a lot of learning on the subjective level. Soooo… death and sexual selection become better bets for the endurance of life/species.

It is interesting to observe that we are seemingly smart enough to outwit evolution, but probably will only do so to our own demise, rather than benefit.

I love it when art imitates life. I make maps for a living, but I do not have the hat, or the pens (anymore), as mine are all made on computers. Substitute the ink stains and hat for pocket protectors and glasses, we’re all a bunch of geeky programmers now. I like the kicky red shirt, though. We also tend to like PBS as a whole, so I’m not sure we’re Rat-ish. Although, if we incorporate the red shirts, maybe we’re more Radish. I’m just embarrassing myself. Never mind. Put another dot on the map, Rat.

I was going to say try a pencil but the point would be forever getting blunt.

xxx

Stupid is as stupid does. Did you pin your location Rat?

Everyone else is stupid; we’re the only smart ones. IMHO! Verrrry humble!

Rat’s map demonstrates that stupid people are dense in any location.

Dots right, Rat!

Well rats, the most stupid people ever is the cartoon character Naruto and it’s creator + its narutard fans. Be sure to mark these people in your map!