Basic Instructions by Scott Meyer for February 26, 2024

I’m a trombonist, but I know there’s a 12 step program for it.

Symphony conductor joke: Don’t even look at the trombonists. It only encourages them.

I always thought someone who played the trombone was called a tromboner. I now realise my mistake, and that I need to apologise to a few tromboners.

I mean trombonists.

Nope! Still doesn’t feel right.

Just shorten it, leave off the “trom” part.

Plastic ones in the same sizes and shapes of the real ones, and bottles of alchohol.

I’ve got the Boys in the Lab working on the electric slide trombone. Bwah ha ha ha!

I love me some Trombone Shorty.

No complaints here, I make my own bassoon reeds.

Just finished Scott’s first “Authorities” novel. Good light fiction.

I never understood chaining bathroom keys to a hubcap. If I steal them, then I get a free hubcap too!

1) I have had the honor of working 2 shows with Porky Cohen & 3 with Jimmy Duggan, as well as almost a year of 3-to-6 nights a week with Jimmy Exxum (all 3, alas, no longer with us), and I can assure you that a well-played trombone is a thing of beauty!

2) That doesn’t erase the memory seeing Scott’s boss’s solo trombone album, with him barechested and holding a cat on the cover…….

Flight of the Bumblebee on trombone(s)

https://m.youtube.Com/watch?v=kGgUK2s-sqA

So do Rick and the Mullet-head boss play “dueling trombones”?

Get a double reed mouthpiece and turn it into a slide tromboon, which according to one who played it “sounds like a dyspeptic rhinoceros f**ting into an aluminum trash barrel”.

RIP Peter Schickele

I am a tromboner, and still play on the Bach 42B I got in high school, along with the orchestral mouthpiece I got at the same time. I never got a new mouthpiece, even when playing lead ’bone in a jazz swing band during graduate school, where I needed to extend my upper range by an entire octave.

This was so funny, I may sue you, Meyer. I think you gave me bronchitis.