That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for November 10, 2021

Bridget really needed a shoulder massage at the end of the day.

The dread creature that Frankenstein fashioned / had no livelihood— much too impassioned. / Both the bolts in his neck / were contrived as low-tech, / and attachments, if any, were rationed. /// But the creature’s helpmate has a trade. / Her design allows her to get paid. / Bolted into her throat / is a yoke. You will note, / she was made an ideal dairy-maid.

.

Katiska was asked if it hurt,

that yoke sprouting out of her shirt.

“No, it helps me tote more,

“but I’ve such a small door,

“it’s a bitch getting out of my yurt.”

’

Might setting it out be a plan…?

“Yes, I do that when bedding my man.

“But guys in the village,

“accustomed to pillage,

“won’t keep their damned hands off my can!”

It wasn’t much later when they invented the ox.

Staid Joanna is never dismayed. / Never wild, overjoyed or afraid. / For her husband ensured / that to work she’s inured. / Now Joanna’s a Stepford milkmaid.

Mary was exhausted after a long day of milking the almonds to make the milk

Those milk-cans which hang from wood holders, / when full are as heavy as boulders. / But the maid isn’t stressed. / After work she gets dressed / in an ‘80’s gown (extra-wide shoulders). /// Eighteen -eighty’s the date, it is true, / but all fashion repeats, never new. / She attracts local lads / with her wood shoulder-pads. / Will a Dynasty prequel ensue?

Hey!My eyes are up here, stop staring at my cans!”

The next bozo who shouts “Nice Jugs” is going in the canal!

Edouard May had heard of impressionism, and wanted no truck with it.

She’s had a headache everyday since they implanted those boards in her neck!

As “gym-wards” she painfully plods/ shei s planning to pump her “quads“:/ her “delts” and her “traps”/ are prone to mishaps:/ still, she thinks she can beat the odds../// “The Olympia’s” still months away/ and she’s training like hell every day:/ though she looks like a mutt/ she’s amazingly “cut”/ beneath those sad garments of gray./// Any price she will willingly pay/ to extract her feet from this clay,/ so she’s blasting her “lats”/ and foregoing all fats/ though her “abs” may yet lead her astray.. /// and if she should somehow lose/ she will then take a “singles cruise”:/ a few weeks at sea/ with a boyfriend (or three)/ then it’s back to those wooden shoes…

Let’s milk this for all its worth.

uma thurman, showing off her jugs…

On her way to churn obyl.

She’s trying to make her hips look smaller.

“And to think I was denied a job at ’Hooter’s’. Everyone knows I’ve got the best jugs in town!”

I see she pocketed her 19th century ear buds for the picture.

The only French painting of a woman with jugs and no nudity.

Wait – she’s not a milkmaid in the raw; she’s a maid with raw milk!

The yoke’s on her. It’s pecs day.

I can pick up WLS with this thing

The next jerk that yells “look at her cans” is getting this yoke up his ass

As she grew up, she never was blue / Never thought of the work she would do. / Then they loaded her shoulders / With cans like two boulders / And said, “Honey, the yoke is on you.”

Back in the days when milk maid the woman.

Her yoke is for spreading the load./ It’s less painful than whip, or than goad./ We’re extremely humane/ (unlike farmers in Spain/ whose ploughs by their daughters are towed.)/// This girl is petite and demure/ hence her “easier” sinecure./ Were she somewhat more crude/ she’d be swiftly subdued/ like her sister – who spreads the manure…/// I sing of a life on the farm-/ of its earthy, malodorous charm-/ of the warmth of your neighbors/ (fights with scythes – not with sabers)/ Could there be any possible harm?/// Rusticity speaks to the soul:/ where a man’s on the land – not the dole../ where the “gummint” you hate/ and you dictate your fate/ at least till the next Dust Bowl…

Is there any question that it was a male fashion designer who invented the yoke?

Marlene was never sure how to take it whenever she heard someone remark “Look at the jugs on that girl”.

Agribusiness decided it wasn’t enough just to have genetically modified crops.

Her face is a stoical mask/ which attests to the strain of the task:/ they could lighten the chore/ by a factor of four../ is a wheelbarrow too much to ask ?

Millie the Milkmaid dreams that she can can her cans and can canoe and canoodle with Canadian Can-Caners!

Suzette finally figured out how Lauren Bacall got that big shoulder look but failed to realize that her clothes should go over the yoke. (Also, that she should ditch the milk buckets – stupid Suzette!)

She listed her measurements on Tindr as 56-26-42.

Shoulder pads before they got it right.

The little dairymaid: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Angoul%C3%AAme_16_Mus%C3%A9e_Petite_laiti%C3%A8re_L.-E_May_2011.jpg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/11/masterpiece-2824.html 

I couldn’t find any info about this artist online. First work by him used here.

I’ve been gazing at her for a while/ having been drawn in by her style/ her garments’ sharp creases/ have blown me to pieces/- to say naught of her dazzling smile…

“Ya know, if you wanted to make sure I couldn’t run away, wearing high heels would have worked, too.”

Wearing this yoke is one thing, but I will not put that bit in my mouth!

Tinder couldn’t resist matchmaking Mary the milkmaid with Pete from “Ghosts”.

Maria’s shoulder implant was good for her job, but not too good for her finding a mate,not handy in bed.

Somebody had already spotted the Holstein she emptied into the buckets.

“Go ahead, laugh, but only 50 years from now, Joan Crawford will kill for shoulder pads like these!”

Do my cans make my butt look big?

“Well …” she said coyly, “… I’ve been practicing a lot lately; and I can get my jugs a twirlin’ … if you want me to show you …”

You know it is a sad day when the highlight of your day is having a wake up choir at 7 am. Then it’s off to work I go.