The physics of stuffing excess flesh into inadequate fabric gave rise to the muffin top (and other nasty things).
I knew I was old the day I installed a grab bar in the shower.
Julia was devastated to discover that the Sears & Roebuck catalog did not show a furnace screen that would match her decor.
My home came with all the “ports” already installed. I just added “voice” to my cable package and plugged in my landline phone.
I wish some of the ladies in the office elevator used non-scents.
I made up a batch of that Bam seasoning once. It went stale before I used even half of it, so I went back to Mrs. Dash.
It’s no longer her “big day”…..it’s her “Special Weekend” (or week, or month, or year…..)
When I die I’m heading straight for the concert – I picture Bowie on vocals, Eddie on guitar, Charlie on drums and Janice and Cass on backing vocals.
My remedy for the last few years has been a large glass of whiskey.
Juan Valdez’s early attempts at harvesting coffee failed because he did not know it was the beans he was supposed to gather.
The physics of stuffing excess flesh into inadequate fabric gave rise to the muffin top (and other nasty things).