New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis

New Adventures of Queen Victoria

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  1. leftwingpatriot

    leftwingpatriot said, about 9 hours ago

    The pie challenge is to the thrower, not the recipient.

  2. Sherlock Watson

    Sherlock Watson said, about 8 hours ago

    Shouldn’t Liz be saying “Nyuk nyuk nyuk”?

  3. Bruno Zeigerts

    Bruno Zeigerts said, about 8 hours ago

    No, but there are people who throw pies at politicians…

  4. Alexikakos

    Alexikakos said, about 8 hours ago

    Since the pieing is for charity, the pie should have some contrasting tastes I think.

    From: “The Farmers’ Almanac Cook Book” (Originally: The Ohio Farmer Cook Book )

    Published by: Pocket Books New York 1965


    1 Baked 9-inch pie shell (see below)
    1 can (1 1/3 cups) sweetened condensed milk (315 millilitres)
    1/4 cup lemon juice
    1 cup cooked cranberries, drained
    2 eggs, separated
    1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
    4 tablespoons sugar

    Blend together milk, lemon juice, cranberries and unbeaten egg yolks.
    Pour into baked pie shell.
    Cover with meringue made by adding cream of tartar to egg whites and beating until almost stiff enough to hold a peak, then gradually beating in sugar, until mixture is stiff but not dry.
    Bake in slow oven (325° F.) until meringue is lightly browned, about 15 minutes.
    Cool and serve. (Makes a nine-inch pie.)

    And while this is a pie crust I have yet to try, I think it would make a very good contrast to the tartness of the cranberries above.

    From: Cocoa Rediscovered.
    Recipes: everything from hot cocoa to chocolate soufflé.
    A pamphlet from: Cadbury Schweppes Powell Ltd., Montreal Quebec, Canada
    Publication date: some time in the sixties. (no postal code)

    1/2 cup shortening
    2 teaspoons FRY’S COCOA
    3 tablespoons boiling water
    1 1/4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    2 tablespoons chopped nuts

    Measure shortening into mixing bowl.
    Mix cocoa with boiling water, then pour over shortening.
    Add 1/4 cup all-purpose flour; beat with fork until blended.
    Add remaining flour and salt.
    Mix into dough; work with tips of fingers until mixture is smooth and compact.
    Roll out between two 12-inch squares of waxed paper with rolling pin to form a circle.
    Remove top sheet; sprinkle with chopped nuts.
    Recover with waxed paper; roll nuts into dough.
    Peel off top sheet; pick up dough by bottom sheet and invert over 9-inch pie pan then remove sheet.
    Fit pastry into pan; trim and flute edge.
    Prick entire surface with fork.
    Bake in 425° F. oven for 12-15 minutes.
    Cool and fill with desired filling.

  5. dukedoug

    dukedoug said, about 4 hours ago

    @Bruno Zeigerts

    And other prominent people … Bill Gates has been “pied” (as well as iced).

  6. NebulousRikulau

    NebulousRikulau GoComics PRO Member said, about 4 hours ago

    But there SHOULD be.

  7. uniquename

    uniquename said, about 2 hours ago

    Someone is trying to start the “Doubtfire” pie challenge for suicide prevention in tribute to Robin Williams’ death. No, this isn’t a joke.

  8. morosemoose

    morosemoose said, about 1 hour ago

    Greatest pie story ever:

    This story is specifically why people I know thought I should keep writing stuff. It never made it to my list, because I never received any orders governing it.

    Early on in my military career, way back when I was a PFC, my Battalion would occasionally have “Fun Runs”. A Fun Run is just like running for several miles. Except that it’s fun. Because people that outrank you say so.

    This is pretty much the Army equivalent to declaring “Our office is so much fun! On Friday we get to wear Hawaiian shirts!” It’s awesome if you happen to love Hawaiian shirts, but just kinda sucks if you have taste.

    One of the features of the Fun Run was that afterward the Battalion would gather together and hold a pie auction. The point of the pie auction was that if you bought a pie, you could pick any soldier who was present, and hit them with the pie. So as you can imagine, an awful lot of repressed rage got transferred into pie kinetics after these runs. The important thing to know here is that by tradition, the first pie always got thrown at the Battalion Commander.

    This whole exercise was to raise money for the Battalion Family Support Group. In theory, this was an organization that would help the families of deployed soldiers manage during the long separations that military life often inflicts. But in reality, FSG was more like a cross between the homeowners association from a sit-com, and a social club for unemployable wives of military officers. And when I say social club, imagine the kind that gets taken down a peg by a scrappy band of misfits in an 80’s comedy movie.

    To sum this up: the Family Support Group was not very popular with most of the soldiers.

    The night before one of these delightful Fun Runs, I received special instructions.

    “Bring in a pie for the auction.”

    I’m not sure how much the pay has gone up, but back in those days if a Private First Class had a child he automatically qualified for food stamps. So I didn’t have much money. And most of what I did have was generally earmarked for important things, like strippers and alcohol, and more strippers.

    A pie doesn’t cost that much I guess. But it was the principle that bothered me. The Army has billions of dollars and I have barely any. And now they want me to buy stuff for them.

    Now technically, it wasn’t an order. It would be against regulations for my supervisor to order me to spend my own money on the Family Support Group. It was just, technically, a suggestion. And it’s just peachy to make suggestions. And if soldiers choose not to follow the suggestions, well, someone has to be assigned to that toilet cleaning detail.

    So that night, I went out and I bought a premade pie crust. And a tub of Cool Whip. And then I stopped by a Korean grocery store and purchased a whole, frozen squid. And sprinkles.

    I got back to the barracks, and started the preparations for the morning. Which pretty much just means I started thawing the squid in a shower stall. My roommate was a bit surprised when he got back.

    “Is that a squid in our shower?”
    “What’s it doing in there.”

    The next morning I packed it all in a cooler, and set out for the Fun Run. After about three miles of fun the Battalion gathered for the auction. I quickly assembled the secret weapon, and added it to the pie table. I then notified the auctioneer about my special pie. Of course she selected my pie for the first auction.

    The bidding started fairly briskly, as many people wanted to hit our Commander with a pie. But soon enough bidding started to peter out, and that’s when the auctioneer let everyone in on the secret.
    “This is a special pie.”
    “What’s so special about it?” called someone in the crowd.
    “It’s a squid pie.”
    “I beg your pardon?” said the Commander
    “I said it’s a squid pie sir.”
    “There’s no such thing.”

    So she reached in, pulled out a tentacle, and waved at the Commander with it.
    “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” asked the Commander with, all things considered, a reasonable tone of voice.
    “It’s a tentacle sir.”
    “Normally you’d be correct. But this is a squid pie sir.”

    And the bidding immediately picked up again. My pie raised close to five hundred dollars, which was a new record for the pie auction. I didn’t get into any trouble because nobody wanted to look like a bad sport. And I got to watch my CO take a high velocity mollusk to the kisser, which is a good morning no matter what branch of the military you are in.

    Thanks Skippy!

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