The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for November 28, 2023

Gladys has not a “green thumb”.

Right on, Gladys. I kill plants.

Around here, we call that a “black thumb.”

Gladys won’t “kill it!!” But wait until ……. Mother Gargoyle gets there!!!!

;-)

My friend’s wife was a teacher who worked for a principal who was notorious for killing every houseplant she ever owned.

So, when the principal retired, my friend’s wife and some other teachers chipped in and bought her a silk plant.

At the beginning of the next school year, the retired principal made a visit to her former school. She told the teachers who had given her the pant, “Usually, every plant I own dies. But I’ve watered this one every other day, and it’s just as green today as the day you gave it to me!”

Brown thumb special

Monstera is a reasonably fast growing plant and it can become very large. So buying an artificial one, might not be such a bad idea if your living room isn’t very big. I have one and I really need to trim it down every once in awhile to prevent it from making my living room into a jungle.

I have a black thumb, I’ve even killed artificial turf. It’s a skill.

That works for me. I don’t deal with houseplants because I always kill them.

I have a weed thumb. The proof is in my lawn.

We knew where this was going Gladys

make sure it gets plenty of fluorescent light…

Monstera, is that mother Gargoyles nickname?

To everyone that is killing plants. I never had a problem growing things. Until 3 years ago when we moved into our new home. We got lots of porch plants and I tried several in the yard. They turned into sticks in pots. Then it dawned on me. We have a water softener and we have been faithfully salting the soil for our plants. Get well water or bottled water for gardening, if you have a softener. OR artificial plants are a great option too. I knew someone who was killing cactus plants.

For us, purchasing a plant is a death sentence for the plant

At least she knows her limitations…

You married a smart girl there Brutus .

Spider plants are easy to grow.

But will she dust it?

I can.

Gladys has a very valid point, Brutus!

That’s always been my approach…

Have you even tried?

or can you… :J

Deliciosa!

You can’t fault someone who knows her limitations!

Let Brutus water it and it’ll die…

She’s got a point. She’s also acknowledging one of her shortcomings, she can’t grow plants. Hopefully it didn’t cost you too much. That Christmas credit card bill can be murder to the old wallet. Tell it it’s her gift for Christmas, though I don’t think that would work…..

You can’t kill what’s already dead.

Didn’t work for me, I have silk plant with the blossoms falling off.

BIG plus in our household!

That Mother-in-Law Tongue plant they had looked pretty healthy!

“Don’t let Ramona see it, her look could kill a pet rock” mutters Brutus…

my monstera takes up much of my office and gobbles up anything that happens to stray too close…

Sound reasoning.