Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for November 08, 2019

“Thank Me, it’s not on my Smiting hand.”

Mel Brooks leaps to mind.

Not to worry – it just said ‘yada, yada, yada’.

“These 15….CRASH!….10, 10 commandments!”

XI. Thou shalt not use crib notes.

11.) NO WIRE HANGERS!

Wouldn’t it have been chiseled into his palm? That had to hurt.

There wasn’t anymore room on the tablets anyways….

Actually there was 20 but I saw it in Mel Brooks movie where Moses dropped half of them.

Actually, there were a thousand, but when cribbing the “Book of the Dead” for your “Pocket Books” nomad edition, you have to cut back a little.

“Thou shalt not return library books late. Especially those on the Best-seller list.”

Moses came down with 10 of them. Then the priestly class of the Jews (the one-percenters) got in the act and invented about 1,000 more and there by created bureaucracy.

Number 11? “Thou shalt not allow a person with a smeared reputation to accept a presidency.” Well, Trump violated that commandment bigtime!

Sky palm pilot.

Be Kind

He was getting tired of Moses’s constant pestering him, so when Moses came up the last time, He told Moses, “Take two of these tablets and call me in the morning!”

Thou shalt be no free lunch.

That wasn’t a commandment, it was the liability disclaimer. “Use at own risk!”

Thou shalt not Twitter.

It’s on Chuck Mangione’s Feels So Good album:

The nuns told us that the 11th commandment was “Mind your own business”.

Ah, for Chrisssakes.

And that’s why we have leaf-blowers today.

#11: Thou shalt not write these commandments onto thy hand.

Various versions of the bible mention other numbers of commandments, order them in some other way, sometimes merge two or split one, and generally prove that “the bible” is more of a concept than an actual thing.

……….and you’re too old to remember what you wrote. I know the feeling.

I think it was the expiration date.