Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 01, 2014
Rat: Hey, Labrador Lenny. How goes it? Lenny: Not good. I'm lonely as heck. Rat: There's a cute poodle over there. Why don't you go talk to her? Lenny: No way. I'll blow it. I always blow it. Rat: Maybe you're too eager. Girls hate guys who appear to eager. Lenny: I'm always eager. I get excited. Rat: That's stupid You have to look indifferent, unimpressed, blasé. If they know you're excited, you're dead. Lenny: Whoa. I didn't know any of that. I'll go try it right now. Lenny: Hey. Poodle: Hey. Lenny: I'll be lonely forever.