Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for February 11, 2021

Who?

…sentient strawberries are a thing…

…they attach to your head…

…and you become a living breathing scarecrow…

…but at Darrell’s command…

…you will release his brothers…

…but not his sisters…

…sentient strawberries are soo sexist…

…sure they like tight fitting jeans, but like a Tom Sawyer fence…

..they only wear half a coat…

…cross dressing at cross purposes…

…{being sexists & all}…

…hmpft…

…and they are not even really berries…

…but just a bunch of fruits…

…(their software needs a patch, if you know what I mean)…

The wizard of oz’s cutting room aqua plywood floor to follow after a pee break. Mmm yellow brick came forth, whooo wooould have thought?

Screech was a classic on saved by the strawberry bell.

“Incense and peppermints, the color of time …”

I know, showing my age again. I agree, it’s pretty rude.

I don’t think that’s the correct phonetic spelling of “sneak.”

Thank you for helping to increase my vocabulary, Teresa. Of course, I might not use it any time soon but it is still knowledge gained. ;-)

I will not alert the WHOOO-ters…not untill I get that strawberry first, dip it in chocolate and eat it, straight away! Froglandia has a Homemade Chocolate Factory, and when you stop in, a free chocolate dipped Strawberry will be given to the first 50 customers, provided you’re in an OWL costume. No rain checks for this promo!

Ya make me Magritte my teeth. I am in Ernst to the Max.

Obliquely reminds me of the sign on the door of a local store:

“WERE OPEN”

I see by your outfit that you are an owl hunter;

I see by your outfit you are an owl hunter, too;

We see by our outfits that we are both owl hunters.

If you get an outfit, you can be an owl hunter, too …!

Enough with the sweet talk.

Aw … sweet

This is for all you “Rotifer is Teresa” conspiracists.

“Self-Defence Against Fresh Fruit” is a Monty Python sketch that appeared in the episode “Owl Stretching Time”.

Disguised as an innocent strawberry, but carrying a nasty-looking unsheathed knife, she quietly left to inform the Sirens (“suaviloquent owls”) that we’re here.

Who we? Here where? (Imagine those as the sound of sweet-talking owls….)

This will not end well. Strawberries will be chocolate-dipped. They will gifted for Sunday the 14th (you know what that is). And, then, all will be consumed in a great orgy of consumption!

“You could be a real zounderkite if you weren’t such a scobberlotcher,” she said sauviloquently.

That’s not jelly on that dagger. One too many shortcake jokes finally pushed her over the edge; now your ass is toast.

I can’t believe it. We are moments away from the entrance to the Froglandia Bath Mat Factory Gift Shop. It seems like we have been on queue forever, but we stuck it out, and nobody lopped it off, so here we are, at last. The tour brochure, aside from being fun-packed and providing essential information on the design and construction of the finest bath mats on all the known planets, includes a few pages at the back which have perforated coupons that may be redeemed at the gift shop. Looking at them, my mind fills with excitement at the possibilities, like the nostrils of a canine filling with the scent of fresh fecal extrusions. Oh, joy! Oh, grandiloquent expression of rapture!