“Thanks for inviting me back to do a signing at your bookstore, Lillian. Can’t understand why no customers showed up. You still owe me for all these unsold books, though.”
Can we now please put an end to this month-long exercise in self-back-patting by a selection of Batiuk’s thinly-disguised creative avatars…before the biggest self-insert of them all shows up to hawk his latest Dead St. Lisa tomes?
“No, I’m not surprised you wrote this book while he was still alive. And I’m not surprised you took ninety years to get a publisher. I’m just surprised that reading the manuscript didn’t kill him first.”
Yes, a book signing by an unknown at a small used bookstore location that I’m sure is in violation of numerous regulations for a retail shop must have been wildly successful.
“Well, yes, Harry, but that wasn’t my question. My question is why was that allowed to be put in the book in the first place. Didn’t the publisher or an editor have any questions about it?”
“Oh! Ha ha ha, you poor dear sweet child. Ha ha, mercy. Editors. Hah. Listen, Lillian, when you’re someone like me, they’ll just print anything you write, no questions asked. Somehow, enough people keep buying my drivel, but nobody cares! It’s a sweet life, let me tell you. People just remember me as being some blowhard from forty-some years ago and say to themselves ‘oh, yeah, I remember that blowhard, he was a blowhard!’, and they never stop asking for more. They’ll even go out of their way to insult anyone else who calls me out for being a blowhard. There’s people out there who buy this trash and defend this trash by outright insulting other people who call it out for being trash. It’s great!”
J.J. O'Malley about 2 months ago
“Thanks for inviting me back to do a signing at your bookstore, Lillian. Can’t understand why no customers showed up. You still owe me for all these unsold books, though.”
Can we now please put an end to this month-long exercise in self-back-patting by a selection of Batiuk’s thinly-disguised creative avatars…before the biggest self-insert of them all shows up to hawk his latest Dead St. Lisa tomes?
Bill Thompson about 2 months ago
“No, I’m not surprised you wrote this book while he was still alive. And I’m not surprised you took ninety years to get a publisher. I’m just surprised that reading the manuscript didn’t kill him first.”
comixbomix about 2 months ago
He’s a ghost writer…
French Persons Premium Member about 2 months ago
“John Philip Sousa”: “This book is dedicated to ‘Lisa’s Story’, the single-most greatest book and film adaptation in human history!”
fuzzbucket Premium Member about 2 months ago
Not if Sousa was descended from Nostradamus.
Gent about 2 months ago
It’s called writing foreword. Ha ha ha ha.
Robert Nowall Premium Member about 2 months ago
I know of a guy running around with that name. Think he’s a descendant, but I’m not sure.
papajim545 about 2 months ago
They should rename this strip Lillian
Atewl about 2 months ago
Where’s Batton Thomas?
rbrt6956 about 2 months ago
A foreword written by a person who died 90 years before publication of the book? You’re safe. I don’t think anyone will catch on.
rockyridge1977 about 2 months ago
Lying rascal……
Kidon Ha-Shomer about 2 months ago
All musicians use a ‘fake book’ now and again, Harry.
ladykat about 2 months ago
Pretty obvious.
Mopman about 2 months ago
Yes, a book signing by an unknown at a small used bookstore location that I’m sure is in violation of numerous regulations for a retail shop must have been wildly successful.
tcayer about 2 months ago
So these authors are doing signings in a USED bookstore?
lemonbaskt about 2 months ago
today crankshaft decides to plant cheatgrass
Where's The Pizza Box Monster? about 2 months ago
Hey, I wrote a book too! It’s an in-depth recount of every time Dead St. Lisa visited Montoni’s. When’s my book signing?
Out of the Past about 2 months ago
This was a little chilling. I think we’re watching ‘same story syndrome’ in real time.
gammaguy about 2 months ago
“Is it obvious that I faked it?”
Doesn’t have to be a fake. He could have found someone else with the same name.
I once met Nikita Khrushchev, but he was unrelated to the famous one. He wasn’t even born in Russia.
Brent Rosenthal Premium Member about 2 months ago
He was first going to use Bach
Foob about 2 months ago
Final panel: That’s what she said.
MuddyUSA Premium Member about 2 months ago
Share is Crankshaft……….again?
oakie817 about 2 months ago
still no Crankshaft?
WilliamVollmer about 2 months ago
Gee, Harry, a foreward by a bandmaster who’s been gone since before you were born, a fake?
wherescrankshaft about 2 months ago
“Is it obvious that I faked it?”
“Well, yes, Harry, but that wasn’t my question. My question is why was that allowed to be put in the book in the first place. Didn’t the publisher or an editor have any questions about it?”
“Oh! Ha ha ha, you poor dear sweet child. Ha ha, mercy. Editors. Hah. Listen, Lillian, when you’re someone like me, they’ll just print anything you write, no questions asked. Somehow, enough people keep buying my drivel, but nobody cares! It’s a sweet life, let me tell you. People just remember me as being some blowhard from forty-some years ago and say to themselves ‘oh, yeah, I remember that blowhard, he was a blowhard!’, and they never stop asking for more. They’ll even go out of their way to insult anyone else who calls me out for being a blowhard. There’s people out there who buy this trash and defend this trash by outright insulting other people who call it out for being trash. It’s great!”
EXCALABUR about 2 months ago
I wish you people would accept this strip like it is or don’t come back even though it is your right to be crybabies.