Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 23, 2012

those darn peanuts… I’m allergic to them, so I’d be invisible.

Why not have both powers, and be The Invisible Flyer?“Look! Up in the sky! Nothing’s there!”

It’s good he chose invisibility. As I understand, a lot of strange things will happen the day pigs fly.

Roya makes a good point. And the ability to fly has much better application to it than invisibility. But what kind of flying is this? Does it tire us out, or are we like all the super folks from the movies?I suppose pervy people might like invisibility. But for me, I would love to fly. I’ve been paragliding three times, that was great.

Invisible! You’re right, Pig! Some are already charging $100 dollars a bag; and now they’re talking of charging for window or aisle seats! May they rot in the Circle of the Greedy! Guess they’ve never heard about killing the goose that laid the golden egg….

Pig – Kevin Smith is on the phone. He’s with you.

Hmmmm, tough call. Obviously Pig failed to realize Rat was asking which super power you’d take. So what would it be like?

Invisibility could be interesting. Get to go undetected by others. Imagine how much you could save on movie tickets alone. And what would happen if you were knocked out cold while invisible, would you become visible? If not, imagine loosing conciousness while in a building that’s on fire or in some accident or natural disaster. Ain’t no one gonna save you if they can’t see you. Course if you’re driven by your hormones (teens in mind here) and straight you could always sneak into the locker room of the opposite sex and watch folks change. But a couple things to think about here. First, too many of us are already invisible without needing the power to become so. Only your friends and family tend to notice you. People may not pay much attention to you in large groups and if you’re homless they may not pay attention to you even in small groups. And second, when you become invisible is it just you or does your invisibility extend to what you’re wearing and holding? Becoming invisible and having to loose you’re clothes seems pretty pointless. Yeah, sure nobody can see that you’re invisible, but if you should become visible in a crowd, you could be in trouble. And I’d certainly want pockets or something for carrying stuff to put things in. Not to mention I’d want something to protect me against the elements (cold, rain, sleet, snow).

Flying seems just as interesting. What for do ya need a car when you can just step outside and fly to your destination. And hey, we all know the fastest route between two points is a straight line. With a GPS you could know when you reach where you want to go. More money in your pocket cause you don’t have to pay for gas or automobile insurance. And no need to worry about traffiic either. You wanna go somewhere long distance you wouldn’t have to pay for airline tickets either. Of course what happens if you loose the power of flight in mid-air? Hey, if you’re just a few feet off the ground no problem. But if your dozens, even hundreds of feet up, splat. And it’s probably gonna be a little harder to get health or life insurance as you’re probably going to be considered a high insurance risk. You’d also have to watch out for being hit by helicopters, planes and birds.

Think of the two, though, I’d take flight. With the way things are right now I’d never have to go through a TSA security screening cause I could just step outside and take off.

Why is every body complaining about the cost of flying? You get a free pat down don’t you?

Flying is easy. All you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss. Simple! I still think there is a germ of truth in Douglas Adams’ solution.

if you were invisable you could swipe all the peanuts!!

but pig! you could make a lot of people promise to give you stuff “when pigs fly” and then they’d have to pay up

Dumbo could fly, and he ate plenty of peanuts.

If God wanted us to fly, He’d give us tickets.

What does Pig care about luggage? he never wears anything anyway.

I dislike big business as much as the next guy, but even with all the add ons it is still cheaper to fly today than it was pre-deregulation. In the early 1970s I had to make numerous trips from Indianapolis to Washington. The ONLY airline that flew this route was US Airlines, or whatever it was back then. The fare then was over $400 per trip. I just checked Kayak and I can fly to DC for less than $300 if I leave on a Monday. Of course back then things were more genteel and we didn’t have to put up with people trying to cram a steamer trunk in an overhead bin.

i dont know why but the second pannel instantly reminded me of dumbo

No real choice – invisibility means blindness. A transparent iris lets in way too much light, and light won’t focus on a transparent retina. Then again, in the world of adolescent fantasy, none of that really matters. Follow me to the girls’ locker room.

BTW, the airlines are now planning to charge family members to sit together on flights. Time to bring back regulation?

Walking through TSA to the tune of “Walkin’ to New Orleans”.

Invisible. If you could fly, you would easily be spotted, and people would wanna find out how you could do it. So they would find you and dissect you. Finding nothing, of course, but you wouldn’t care, cuz you’d be dead.

Invisible would be great, because I’m already an introverted flower on the wall. Now, I can move away from that wallpaper where ever I want and people will still leave me alone.

Love it Love it Love it!

5/5!

xxx

Invisibility isn’t a super power. This is a social skill bullied teenagers develop on their own.

I love Pig! He makes obtuse so endearing.

Invisible… But, who’d fall in love if they can’t see you?Ahh, that’s when your heart would have to make the best impression! You’d be subject to faith! You’d have to trust by instinct. Invisible, like angles… yes, but why go to a girl’s locker room? You want to fall in love with the one who captures your heart.

I’m beginning to see why Pig gets on Rat’s nerves.

Would you be able to choose when you’re invisible and when not? Because if you’re invisible all the time, you’ll eventually die and nobody will know… then you start to smell bad and people wonder what the heck that smell is… and you’ll never get a proper burial.

funny

“And all those surcharges! If I was invisible, I could sneak on the plane and fly for free!!!”

Now, if I were to choose flight, would I be able to fly faster than I can walk/run? And would it take as much energy/strength as walking/running? If so, I’m not sure I see the point. I’ve had nightmares where I was being chased, discovered that I was able to fly, and yet I was still unable to escape my pursuers. It SUCKED!

So, if I understand this, you can check your invisible bags for free, but you get no peanuts at all…?

Flight. At a certain point, I would stop just enjoying the invisibility and start using it for monetary gain.