Andy Capp by Reg Smythe for January 25, 2024

because a pub without a brawl is … not a pub, right Andy?

First thing needed to get a better class of customer is to bar a certain customer, Jack…

Face it, Jack—as long as that worthless moocher keeps dropping in, you’ll NEVER attract a better class of customers.

Andy could turn it into a poetry slam.

In my bar days, a paying customer was appreciated by the bar keep. poetry reading would last about 2 minutes in that bar! IF the bar keep wanted to make a living, he/she would go for the drinkers!

Poetry doesn’t have to rhyme.

Once upon a time, a Beat poet named Royston Ellis went to Liverpool and asked around for a band to back him while he read his poetry. Someone said: “Go see John, he’s trying to put together a band.”

Some years later, while they were sitting around, Paul asked him: “So, what do you want to do with your life?” Royston replied: “I want to become a paperback writer, that’s where the money is.”

And, he did.

Jack, you’ll get small customers forever. Get over it.

Poetry is appropriate today as tonight is Burns Night and Scots around the world will celebrate the poetry of Rabbie Burns.

Shocking to hear this from Andy! Calm him down with a drink, Jack.

Get out Andy

How much better this would’ve gone over if Andy’s lines rhymed: What’s going on in here, Jack?! > I never thought I would say this but, bring Guitar Bob back!!

When The Count first glanced at the first panel, The Count thought it said “Ales and Wings”. Still early. On the first cuppa.

Maybe that IS Guitar Bob.

bring on the rhyme, bring on the meter. when Andy is done, there won’t be no “reader”. just a drink and a scuffle, with a hint of a hustle, will tell the night’s tale of the best tasting ale. so empty your wallet boys, or at least open your purse, get the show on the road before Capp needs a nurse.

Andy, could be worse, open Mike Stand-up nite !

You miss Bob that badly, Andy?

A better class of customer in his pub?

If Jack wants to attract culture, he needs to ditch the ale and stock up on wine and apertifs and hire a classical chamber ensemble for music.

The fact that you feel repelled is part of his plan…

It didn’t work Jack, Andy’s still there.

I thought Andy was one of the flounding members of the Rose & Crown Kulture Klub?

All Jack has to do is hire “purty and sexy” barmaids and men with cash will flock like fleas on a dog. Low class – no class – Jack won’t care when cash is raking in.

I do love a good poem. I’ve actually written a few myself (not published) but now I can’t remember how they go so I can’t share.

Sigh. Haha.

xxx

Better poetry than performance art.

My vote is for Bob.