Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for December 23, 2023

And one has a goose, another a fox, and one a peck of corn. How to get across the river?

What? No sack with all the heavy stuff, like potatoes and canned goods, piled on top of the light stuff, like bread and eggs?

story of my life.

Eh so what if he did? You gonna sack him now?

Each bag is 8 cents.

Paper or plastic?

And before you get a “Migraine” from all the migration and start “Seeing Voices” or have other “Hallucinations” and lose “A Leg To Stand On” and become “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a (Christmas) Hat” before the awful “Awakenings”, relax and open your glove compartment and take out a book by Oliver SACKS for a good read…

This is one reason I offer to bag my own stuff. I also load the conveyor belt heaviest items first.

I try to load the conveyer with frozen items together and away from the deli hot roasted chicken so they both don’t end up in the same bag

At the places I shop at, even the ones with real, live cashiers, I bag my own groceries.

And the eggs are at the bottom.

The empty bag was double bagged.

One of the elves is about to be sacked.

He worked at the Elf-Checkout.

And there’s a surcharge for the bags.

Santa passed away in 1876 40 years after being responsible for the death of the legendary Dave Crockett. One time there were four items.

…and the heavy sack is paper…

Will Santa “sack” this elf?