Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for December 19, 2023

Where’s The Pizza Box Monster?

Oh, no, they parked in front of the sidewalk access ramp Wally Winkerbean had installed back in November of 2020!

Also…Hahaha, it’s funny because she said “I Missed It News” instead of the more common “Eyewitness News”! See, they don’t witness the news, they miss it! Now THAT’S what I call wordplay!

“Hello, I am Miss Dee Nooz reporting live from the scene of the former Montoni’s Pizza Pit. It is reported that the one-time eatery is about to re-open, although the National Weather Bureau Service reports that it is endangered by a returning glacier. We’ll keep you informed as to which moves faster, the glacier or this human-disinterest story!”

Mindy … what’s the phone number to Papa John’s, Dominos, and Round Table.

Where is the fresh baked pizza?

Did they remember to get a business license for the new operation?

This is like the arc where Funky needed to get Montoni’s interior revamped, and it just so happened that Adeela the pizza-serving refugee not only knew all about electrical lighting stuff, but could work for free. Except this time the problem is solved even before anyone realizes they have a problem. And just how likely is it that one report on a channel that boasts about its viewership size is going to bring in a huge crowd?

Well, get into the kitchen, Mopey, and start cooking! “If you bake it, they will come!”

Like most “news” services, they only report on disasters.

“Now all we need to do is hire a full staff! And completely stock the store. And make out our business plan. And figure out our budget. And file all of the required permits and tax forms. And pass our health inspections. And get the legal paperwork filled out. But hey, the decorations look nice!”

Cool!

TV news always shows up at a new pizza shop opening.

Number 1 News????

Why doesn’t Tommy Boy just rename this strip Skunky Stinkerbean Act X?

a low standing youtube food reviewer wouldnt show up at this place

Wait…Channel 1? Isn’t that where John Darling, who was murdered, used to work before he was murdered?

Another Christmas Miracle…..

Might be a good idea to clear your sidewalks before you get sued!

Great business acumen. They wait until the day they open to spread word that they are opening…

Where’s Crankshaft?

Krankshaft is smart enough to stay out of the snowy winter weather………

Ooh, bad luck to have their grand reopening during this massive snowstorm. Of course, waiting won’t help, because the snow will be non-stop until March anyway. Hopefully that fleet of delivery vehicles with the new snow tires were included with their purchase.

Answer to all those where’s Crankshaft, he’s on his way with his flamethrower to melt the snow and in doing so catch the place on fire! (one dreams)

Must have a plow blade on the van, snow everywhere but where it parked and behind it.

Looking at that storm, I hope they don’t hafta make any deliveries!

At least you know everyone will be at home watching the news. Maybe they will get an impulse.