Pickles by Brian Crane for March 25, 2023

Petty and disagreeable, she is

would Opal still have trouble falling asleep if even a pin dropped?

Put a lid on it, Opal, or Earl will lash out and browbeat you.

Oh, Opal, for heaven’s sake. Take a chill pill.

If Earl doesn’t wake up in the morning Opal is gonna regret griping at him about something so ridiculous as claiming that knowing he was blinking kept her from sleeping, she’ll wish she could hear him blinking again! (And regret is a horrible feeling!)

Opal’s miserable…

and she’s determined to spread it around

When your eyes are open, Opal, you’re blinking too … over 14,000 times every day.

Maybe Opal needs to take a laxative

Hey, you’re dreaming to vividly.

Women’s logic?

Maybe he should take up snoring!!!

Take a sleeping pill, Opal

“I can’t help it”…yes, you can, Opal; you just choose not to!

I’m more annoyed that he appears to be reading in the dark.

Oh piffle, Opal! Turn on your side and go to sleep! Next it will be his breathing…

Just to know you might be enjoying something drives her crazy.

Finally, the truth

And even if he went to a different room, Opal would KNOW Earl was blinking and stay awake.

Sounds like a personal problem.

Separate bedrooms has a nice ring to it.

Opal and Earl have begun to make me sad. They are not very fun to read anymore.

It is all mental….I guess?

Opal does not need a reason to nag Earl. She does it continually.

Who DOESN’T blink???

Call Ripley’s Believe It or Not, because while Opal is long past menopause, she displaying PMS thinking.

I can remember while my father and I were watching TV, he sitting in his recliner and I on the sofa about 10 feet away, I could hear his Bulova wrist watch ticking.

“Well, excuuuuuse meeeee…”

They seem to take turns irritating each other. He gives as good as he takes. Didn’t he shrink her sweater a week or so ago? It is how they “get along.”

Misophonia.

I’ve always thought Opal was a bit of a shrew. I mean I get it, Earl can be unobservant or even thoughtless at times, but geez, Opal.

OH FOR GOD SAKE.!!!!

Opal is lucky that Earl is “broken in”. If she had a younger man (or model of husband), she’d wish Earl was back.

Opal’s nose looks bigger then ever.

I think that Opal just likes to cause trouble.

Finally, we get to the truth of the matter! And goggles won’t help.

What do you do when he snores? I use ear plugs!

For God’s sake, get separate bedrooms, you’re too old to sleep together, you need seperate bathrooms too…

Opal has a problem Earl has a bigger problem, Opal.

How can he blink? He doesn’t have eyelids……or eyes.

I’ve heard blinks. When it’s quiet, and I’m listening, and someone blinks loud.

Earl needs to give her a Dutch Oven

I recommend separate bedrooms.

The other day this subject came up on WPVI. There’s a name for her problem. IIRC, it’s “misophonia.”

There’s nothing funny about a woman so bitter, contentious, hateful, and self-centered that makes her feel entitled to harass someone who loves her for blinking.