Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 08, 2023

Do vampire bats retain their teeth when they reach adulthood? If so, could vampire bat teeth be bought and used for shaving?

Insect poop

May the Lord be with you as He is with me.

I think someone is full of frass!

a vampire bat’s shave — along with a haircut — certainly won’t cost two bits

Oh no, theres frass all over the place.

Don’t the vampires actually bite at the hoof or foot? Is there hair down there?

Never sass a frass.

So we return, once again, to the primitive joke life forms on the Planet Uranus.

The frass-hopper!

Pine honey is made from frass.

So, who else twisted their body up to check if the forearm-foot thing was accurate for them?

For mine, I think it was only about a centimeter off.

Hence the term pigskin.

Julia Roberts said the foot measurement thing in the movie "Pretty Woman "

Sorry my foot isn’t 18 inches long

Wail, down here in Oklyhomy ah’m known as ole FF. ~ Frederick Frass, daddy said don’t look it up but now them thar sy-entists went an’ told y’all

Take care, may famed rugby player Angus “Tell You What We Did With The Rest Of The Pig Over A Carlton” Mcbarbyord be with you, and gesundheit.

Let me know if you can read this… Only way of knowing if I’m back on..

Would you like some sassy frass?

Frass??? Is that where sass a frass comes from?

After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi-million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed.He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.On the 2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things.On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.When she had finished she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.When the husband returned with his new girlfriend all was bliss for the first few days.Then slowly the house began to smell. They tried everything cleaning mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting. NOTHING WORKED.People stopped coming over to visit. Repairman refused to work in the house.The Maid quit.Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.A month later even through they had cut their price in half they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. (Continues)

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.INCLUDING THE CURTAIN RODS.

Frassinating

I’ll think twice before buying any more sassafras tea

Even vampire bats don’t want hair in their food!

It takes leather balls to play rugby

Why “lyke dis”?

American footballs were made with pig bladders before rubber bladders were used.

Whoa, won’t ever drink sassafrass again…

The wrist and elbow are not precise target points. This is like saying if I don’t take an umbrella it will probably rain.

Okay. I tested the foot thing (which is far from an easy thing to do at my age) turned out to be remarkably correct! Might be of by a few fractions or centimeters (depending on which side of the pond you are), but it surprised me.

I was taught this a long while ago, when I was knitting socks for Christmas/birthday gifts. I got strange looks when I asked the person to measure his/her arm from elbow to wrist (or wrist to elbow) but the socks did fit.

Wow. So my feet are greatly disproportionate to my body. My feet are way smaller than that length!

Vampire bats usually attack cattle and leave people alone.

People only get bitten in the movies.