Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for July 02, 2022

Happy Holiday weekend everyone!

Yes, I’m back home…for a few days. As Steve Silver recently noted, I often choose a joke theme based on old-and-wiley (or sometimes older with better insurance) thwarts young-and-brash. However, sometimes the latter finds trouble entirely on his own…

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist tells him that the condoms come in packs of three, nine, or 12, and asks which ones the young man wants. “Well,” he says, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s the night. We’re having dinner with her parents and then we’re going out. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12 pack!” The young man makes his purchase and leaves.Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he may give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.” He leans over to her and says, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”

For whom did Kam Kirdashian sing “happy birthday” in Monroe’s dress?

And she damaged the dress in doing so she sure has come a long way from being AJs co star in that home made move.

Okay but did Los Angeles synchronize their lights with the rest of the world?

May the Lord be with you.

I feel like I should know about Jamais Vu, but it doesn’t sound familiar.

Marilyn Monroe was a natural beauty not a photo shopped plastic Barbie doll!

Did anyone else run into the banned word police ?

She surely had the fat rear end to carry it off

Indianapolis takes a different approach to stoplights: they are just hooked up and turned on. To be fair, the local INDOT CLAIMS that no driver will be delayed by more than 55 seconds at a stoplight (it would be nearer to the case to say that no driver will be delayed by more than 55 seconds at every stoplight).

There’s no way KK could have fit inside Marilyn’s dress. Among other things… because of her massive ego :D Seriously. Where did they get all that vintage fabric?

That’s just being drunk, no fancy French words for it needed.

Take care, may disgusting rich moron Kim “Do What They Ask And They Will Feed You Franklins” Kardashiord be with you, and gesundheit.

KK isn’t fit to wipe Marilyn’s behind!

So whenever JFK experienced Marilyn Monroe, she felt brand new each time?

And Kim ruined the dress. Parts were ripped. SMH

I didn’t think her butt would fit into it. One reason why Kanye West could never be President no matter what be claimed. His ego and her butt would NOT both fit into Air Force 1.

Is Kim Kardashian a Cardassian?

Back in the late 60s and early 70s, San Jose had synchronized the lights downtown using and IBM 1800 computer with 8k of storage. Worked great. That is most likely less processing power than my blue tooth mouse.

Nah, that’s vuja-de. Who comes up with these things? ;-}

Wichita Falls, Texas had synchronized traffic lights through its downtown area – in the 1960s. I was told then that it was the first city in the country to have them. Not a major city, but the idea certainly wasn’t new for LA.

So … how are the LA traffic lights synchronized, for going or for stopping?

LA synchronized lights will compete in the 2028 LA Olympic Games

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein:

“If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world.”

Einstein replied: “What if they get my looks and your brain?”

Until next time.

On a related note:

What’s the difference between Kim Kardashian and the moon?

You actually have to put in some effort to see the moon’s backside.

And she almost ruined the dress. Some seams were split and some fabric was damaged.

The traffic lights in Slough, Berks (NOT in America) are synchronised in such a way, that if vehicles try to exceed the speed-limit, between lights, they’ll hit a red every time… Driving calmly, within the speed limit, they’ll be green, all the way through…

And she doesn’t have one tenth the talent or sex appeal that Marilyn had.Talk about overhyped and over surgeried (if there’s such a word)