Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rod Whigham for May 24, 2022

Nice try, but that still doesn’t change what you did. You’re still not playing.

Gil shouldn’t talk; he can’t even get the note in the filing drawer.

P2: Cash, pawnable items like jewelry…

P3: And yes, doctors are always willing to take time away from their practice to visit a boy’s coach at school.

P3: Dr.: Oh, I see what you mean…we need to get his neck straightened out right away! Calling Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine!

I’m pretty sure my insurance doesn’t cover a doctor’s visit to a school.

“What else can I bring him?” How about a legal complaint? And hey Doc, how do you have time to roam around Milford? May we see your malpractice policy? Will it cover damages when Gregg is hit by the next line drive?

P4: “And this is my seeing eye dog, Scruffy.”

P 4: “… yes, coach… with his current condition, this boy should never play baseball again…”

Actually it’s some stranger on the street Scooter hired to play an ophthalmologist. And Gregg’s eyesight is so bad he thinks it is his real eye doctor. Gil gets a clue how much the eyesight has deteriorated when Gregg continues. “He’s worked with me on this and he thinks I can play.”

Dinny Perez’ doppelgänger Scooter, has a wiseacre girlfriend. The girl has jokes. Gregggg suffered third degree burns and didn’t realize it.

P4: aka Dr. Feelgood

Why won’t his parents come to school?

“Sorry, doctor, Gregg misled me, and that’s unforgivable. I don’t intend to show the slightest sympathy for his condition.”

Gregg must have been using his right eye when he was looking for the solution.

I hope that is not his eye doctor. We already know he can’t see. The issue is his deception, dishonesty, and bad judgment. Maybe it’s his psychologist.

P1 Gilpa’s left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing, as usual

P3 “Coach, meet my mom…errrrr…my doctor, Dr. Maisano.”

The Doctor convinces Gil that Greg’s vision is deteriorating so fast that this will be the last time he will be able to play before going blind. Just grant his last wish Gil. He will save your season and secure second place in the valley.

Maybe it’s really Scooter in drag

Friday’s theme song before Saturday’s No Hitter: “I’m sorry, so sorry! Please accept my apology, but I pitched blind, and I was too blind to see.”

The eye doctor is actually the cashier at LensCrafters.

What could the doctor possibly say? “I’ve given Gregg new glasses, and he can see like a champ now?” If that’s the case, why didn’t she give him glasses months ago?

Wait a minute, maybe this lady is his dad’s 3rd wife, to go along with Daphne and Ruth.

And what’s with the blue bag in P3? Are those Milford’s batts, set out at the curb with the trash? They must be in a hitting slump.

What would work would be introducing him to Dr. Kate Upton.

P 1: a garbage can full of candy wrappers, empty Diet Coke cans, brown apple cores, used Kleenex, and gum wrappers would be more appropriate than a desk drawer.

P3: A golfbag full of bats…. I’ll take the 5 wood please.

“She’s our dog’s veterinarian, and she’s been wondering why her daughter and the rest of the softball team have been missing all season.”

If this crap with him bringing his doctor to school leads to some stupid lesson about how to accommodate kids with disabilities, I swear, my flamethrower is going to work overtime. This CANNOT end with him playing again! And speaking of cannot end, you cannot end your night without reading today’s Mopped Up Thorp.

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