Herman by Jim Unger for March 29, 2022

One time I had $101 million.

What if she is looking for a boyfriend who has eyes?

The next Porfirio Rubirosa!

Hey, it’s worth a shot.

Yeah, but I’ve heard the rich will take it out of your hide and that’s one thing that Herman has a lot of, an elephantine hide.

There was a Three Stooges skit with the reverse plot. All the girls were after Shemp who was going to inherit $.

Yeah, him and 10,000 other creeps.

Sending the wrong message…..

Is she the sister of a Nigerian Prince?

He’s got 3 chances, fat, slim and no.

There’s a world worth of possibilities.

Sir. You are talking about the woman I love. Or at least want to meet.

He’ll definitely get her attention. But then, she’ll realize he actually is a human male instead of another species of pet and dump him.

Because she’ll have nothing to do with him.

Yeah, I’m sure she is looking for a guy just like him.

“I already did. She turned me down!! Can you believe it?? Neither can I!!”

Millionaire girls going for shiftless losers? There’s a reality tv show in that.

It might help if you tell her you’re a financial advisor.

Good idea.

Yeah, I’m sure they have her phone number in the article.

She could have some fun designing her phone menu: "If you’re a jerk trying to con me out of my money by falsely professing your love for me, press 1. If you’re a scam artist trying to con me out of my money by selling me swampland in Florida, press 2. If you’re a financial advisor trying to con me out of my money by investing in a Ponzi scheme, press 3 . . . . " And on it goes.

Hey, it’s worth a try. Better odds than with Publisher’s Clearing House.