Pickles by Brian Crane for March 28, 2022

We feel your pain Earl

He’s supine-less

Spouse has started wanting me to come along for grocery shopping because I can reach the top shelves… and get back up from reaching the bottom ones. I’m okay with that for about the first 40 minutes, but then she gets to the last 50% of the time (and 15% of the store) and the … time … s-t-a-r-t-s … t-o … g—o … s—-l—-o—-w—-e—-r …… and I go lean against the end-cap ice cream display and read.

Opal occasionally drives. What are the rules for when she drives and when she doesn’t?

When Opal said shopping, did Earl interpret that as Jo-Ann or The Bon Marché? Hopefully not Victoria’s Secret though.

Earl’s back on the floor again.

Earl, adopt the Nancy Reagan slogan and just say NO!!

911 …. What is your Emergency ? ….. Opal wants to go Shopping !

When a barn owl feels threatened, it spreads its wings to the sides, then lowers its head and swings it from side to side.

Good one Earl!

Actually, the opossum doesn’t pretend to be dead. It faints when afraid.

threatened by going to a world that he has no interest in…

Thank goodness he didn’t try the skunk approach!

He’s been lying on the floor a LOT lately…… That’s a bad sign.

NOT THE FABRIC STORE AGAIN! NOOOO!!

He’d rather play dead than be bored to death.

Take her shopping, sit in the car in the parking lot and tune in and listen to a ballgame.

oh well….. off to the cremortorium with him…

Poor Nelson…..learning to get outta things….

Suck it up Earl. Be a man and hold your wife’s purse.

Dress shopping brings out an additional spreading catsup stain and Sharpie-dawn tire marks.

Good ole Earl!

An opossum when “playing dead” also emits an offensive odor.

By the way, Earl, don’t confuse “opossum” and “possum.” The opossums are from the Americas, and possums are from Australia and nearby islands.

I doubt Opal enjoys grocery shopping any more than Earl does, and ditto on cooking for him every day. He could at least participate in one of the activities. I don’t know anyone who really enjoy grocery shopping. I suppose there must be someone, and feel free to comment about it, but most of us don’t like it.

I have been doing that for my wife since she decided that she did not want to drive any more after her 3rd accident in 2012

….which is fine until someone decides to cook him anyway.

(or he does it in the middle of the road.)

Earl would make a nice throw rug.

HAHAHAHA!