Tonight I’m combining golf with my favorite theme of Older Is Better:
An old man has been paired with a young hotshot on the golf course. At the third tee, the youngster looks at the fairway and sees a large tree between him and the hole, As he mulls how he’ll get around the tree, the old man scoffs. “Why, when I was your age, I always hit my tee shot right over that tree!”
The younger man isn’t going to be outdone by some old duffer, so he grabs his biggest iron, lines up his shot, and WHAM! hits it right into the tree.
The older guy continues, “Of course, when I was your age, that tree was only about twelve feet tall.”
…I’d say “Eromlig. Out!” but then I’d owe Steve Silver a royalty.
Wyan Rasson Just open the box of candy and eat it you two unless one of you has diabetes. If that’s the case, the one who doesn’t have diabetes can eat it.
Pfft, call me when someone does 31 one-handed back handsprings with the SAME hand.
Also, it should be noted that Demi is a social media influencer, which is how she was able to reach so many potential traders and find those most willing to make good trades. For example, she found someone in her area who urgently needed a snowboard, and was able to trade her used one for an expensive smart TV.
3 guys died and went to heaven. As they were standing in front of the Pearly Gates, St. Peter appeared before them and explained, unfortunately we have been running at full capacity and at the moment we can only let in people in who died in an especially horrific way.
The first guy started to explain how he died. I left work early because i was sure that my wife was cheating on me and sure enough when i came home i found her lying naked on our bed and I knew the guy was hiding somewhere. I found the man hanging down from the balcony and in my rage I started to stomp on his hands but the bastard still managed to hold on. I then fetched a hammer and hit his hands as hard as I could which caused him to fall 5 stories down on a bush and somehow he was still alive. I then fetched the refrigerator from the kitchen and threw it down on him and finally the bastard died. All the rage and stress from this caused me to have a heart attack that ended up killing me.
That sucks said St. Peter and allowed him to enter heaven. He then asked the next guy how he died and the man explained
I was doing gymnastics on my balcony and accidentally managed to slip over the railing but I somehow managed to grab onto the balcony under mine. Then some crazy guy started to stomp on my hands and I used all my strength to hold on. He then left and came back with a hammer and started to hit me with it. I fell five stories down and by a miracle I landed on a bush and was still alive and I felt so relieved until a refrigerator fell on me and killed me instantly.
St. Peter agreed that was indeed horrible and let him enter heaven. He then asked the third guy “you think you can top that?”
The third guy saidI will keep this short, I was hiding inside a refrigerator.
What set of jokes would be complete without politicians? To fill the gap:
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
”We have 2 basic needs,” replied the villager. “First, we have a hospital, but no doctor.”
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while, he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day.
He then asked about the second problem.
“Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage in this village.”
Eh, some sisters kept sending the same uncooked hotdog to each other for 54 years before one of them died. https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/family-frank-prank-lasts-54-years/73-344479545
These guys gotta up their game to reach that level of prankery
eromlig over 2 years ago
Tonight I’m combining golf with my favorite theme of Older Is Better:
An old man has been paired with a young hotshot on the golf course. At the third tee, the youngster looks at the fairway and sees a large tree between him and the hole, As he mulls how he’ll get around the tree, the old man scoffs. “Why, when I was your age, I always hit my tee shot right over that tree!”
The younger man isn’t going to be outdone by some old duffer, so he grabs his biggest iron, lines up his shot, and WHAM! hits it right into the tree.
The older guy continues, “Of course, when I was your age, that tree was only about twelve feet tall.”
…I’d say “Eromlig. Out!” but then I’d owe Steve Silver a royalty.
jasonsnakelover over 2 years ago
Wyan Rasson Just open the box of candy and eat it you two unless one of you has diabetes. If that’s the case, the one who doesn’t have diabetes can eat it.
jasonsnakelover over 2 years ago
Mama Zofokeng One time I performed 32 one handed back handsprings in a row.
Skemi Dipper One time I bartered my way through 29 trades.
May the Lord be with you.
monkeysky over 2 years ago
Pfft, call me when someone does 31 one-handed back handsprings with the SAME hand.
Also, it should be noted that Demi is a social media influencer, which is how she was able to reach so many potential traders and find those most willing to make good trades. For example, she found someone in her area who urgently needed a snowboard, and was able to trade her used one for an expensive smart TV.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
The Wassons’ candy pieces must be dried up and stuck together after three decades unused.
charliefarmrhere over 2 years ago
Looks like a glove on one hand but not the other?
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Gymnastics. What a way to go.
3 guys died and went to heaven. As they were standing in front of the Pearly Gates, St. Peter appeared before them and explained, unfortunately we have been running at full capacity and at the moment we can only let in people in who died in an especially horrific way.
The first guy started to explain how he died. I left work early because i was sure that my wife was cheating on me and sure enough when i came home i found her lying naked on our bed and I knew the guy was hiding somewhere. I found the man hanging down from the balcony and in my rage I started to stomp on his hands but the bastard still managed to hold on. I then fetched a hammer and hit his hands as hard as I could which caused him to fall 5 stories down on a bush and somehow he was still alive. I then fetched the refrigerator from the kitchen and threw it down on him and finally the bastard died. All the rage and stress from this caused me to have a heart attack that ended up killing me.
That sucks said St. Peter and allowed him to enter heaven. He then asked the next guy how he died and the man explained
I was doing gymnastics on my balcony and accidentally managed to slip over the railing but I somehow managed to grab onto the balcony under mine. Then some crazy guy started to stomp on my hands and I used all my strength to hold on. He then left and came back with a hammer and started to hit me with it. I fell five stories down and by a miracle I landed on a bush and was still alive and I felt so relieved until a refrigerator fell on me and killed me instantly.
St. Peter agreed that was indeed horrible and let him enter heaven. He then asked the third guy “you think you can top that?”
The third guy saidI will keep this short, I was hiding inside a refrigerator.
Until next time.
Pickled Pete over 2 years ago
Canadians can barter better…
https://tinyurl.com/hydhzefwtremaine53 over 2 years ago
I would alternate hands, too.
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
So, they’ve eaten the candy but not the box.
Take care, may randy hair accessory collector Ruth “I Shaved My Tom Cat Now He’s Bald And Balled” Eastheimord be with you, and gesundheit.
papajim545 over 2 years ago
Couldn’t Zama do it with the same hand? What a sissy
dv1093 over 2 years ago
The box of candy story is a fun thing to do. I’d like to read the entire back story on how to go from a bobby pin to a house.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Do you know what to call a dumb gymnast?
A flippin’ idiot.
The Pro from Dover over 2 years ago
Hey! Mofo is Bofo!
globalenterprize1990 over 2 years ago
If the house that was bartered for is in San Francisco, that is one wheeler and dealer.
BiathlonNut over 2 years ago
What set of jokes would be complete without politicians? To fill the gap:
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
”We have 2 basic needs,” replied the villager. “First, we have a hospital, but no doctor.”
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while, he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day.
He then asked about the second problem.
“Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage in this village.”
moondog42 Premium Member over 2 years ago
Eh, some sisters kept sending the same uncooked hotdog to each other for 54 years before one of them died. https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/family-frank-prank-lasts-54-years/73-344479545
These guys gotta up their game to reach that level of prankery
gmu328 over 2 years ago
must be palmer or russell stover chocolate …