This one may offend not one but two religions…however, in my defense, I heard it while attending parochial school:
A car full of nuns was driving out on a country road one day when they ran out of gas. Chagrined, one of the nuns went to a nearby farmhouse and asked for gasoline. “I actually do have some gas,” the farmer said. “But I don’t have anything for you to carry it in.”
The nuns looked around in their car, but all they could come up with was a chamberpot. “This will have to do,” said the Mother Superior. So they filled the portable commode and went back to their stalled vehicle.
As they filled the tank, a couple of Baptist ministers drove by. As they watched the nuns filling their gas tank from the chamberpot, one remarked to the other, “Whatever you might say about Catholics, you’ve got to admit they have faith!”
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not the same hat” “Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?” The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was, after all, the captain’s parrot.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: “OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?”.
Chavery In One time I did 38 magic tricks in 59 seconds. Maybe it was the old take your thumb off and put it back on one over and over again. Hans Klok is in the Guinness book of records for being the fastest magician when it comes to grand illusions.
Giran Kiri
One time I had 2,191 paper snowflakes. One time I was 1,325 feet long. For a conservation group, a lot of trees were killed so they could use those paper snowflakes.
After milking the snake of venom, the handler drank it.
eromlig over 2 years ago
This one may offend not one but two religions…however, in my defense, I heard it while attending parochial school:
A car full of nuns was driving out on a country road one day when they ran out of gas. Chagrined, one of the nuns went to a nearby farmhouse and asked for gasoline. “I actually do have some gas,” the farmer said. “But I don’t have anything for you to carry it in.”
The nuns looked around in their car, but all they could come up with was a chamberpot. “This will have to do,” said the Mother Superior. So they filled the portable commode and went back to their stalled vehicle.
As they filled the tank, a couple of Baptist ministers drove by. As they watched the nuns filling their gas tank from the chamberpot, one remarked to the other, “Whatever you might say about Catholics, you’ve got to admit they have faith!”
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Magicians! I am about to make a joke appear!
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: “Look, it’s not the same hat” “Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table” “Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?” The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was, after all, the captain’s parrot.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: “OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?”.
Until next time.
jasonsnakelover over 2 years ago
Chavery In One time I did 38 magic tricks in 59 seconds. Maybe it was the old take your thumb off and put it back on one over and over again. Hans Klok is in the Guinness book of records for being the fastest magician when it comes to grand illusions.
Giran Kiri
One time I had 2,191 paper snowflakes. One time I was 1,325 feet long. For a conservation group, a lot of trees were killed so they could use those paper snowflakes.
After milking the snake of venom, the handler drank it.
May the Lord be with you.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Can you take a 2nd one?
A magician stops a woman on a street….“Pick a card, any card” he says. She grabs one at random.
“Now, look away and memorize that card. Don’t show me.”
She turns away, memorizes it, and turns back to see that the man was gone.
She lived her life as any other. She got a job, fell in love, got married, and got pregnant with her first child.
Fast forward 9 months.
“Push, PUSH” the midwife and doctors urged. “You’re almost there!”
“The baby! She’s crowning!”
“But… what’s that in her HAND???”
“It… it looks like…”
“Is THIS your card?” a familiar voice said.
Okay. I’m done for now. Until next time.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
I’d like to see Chin accomplish that kind of feat.
therese_callahan2002 over 2 years ago
“Hey, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.” “But Avery, that trick never works.”
J. R. M. over 2 years ago
Something must have happened to the mother of those cubs, or Kiran Giri might not have lived to tell the tail.
tremaine53 over 2 years ago
All of those paper snowflakes! What a waste of resources! And this was an “Earth Rangers” group?!? Oh, the irony!
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
Let it snow, flakes.
Take care, may ignored meteorologist Dean “Play What I Say Backwards And You’ll Have A Nice Bouillabaisse Recipe” Kilford be with you, and gesundheit.
julianhoward over 2 years ago
Wow…slow day at Ripley’s.
yangeldf over 2 years ago
heh, because of the way it was written I thought the magician was called “a very chin” for a moment. That would be a confusing stage name Avery
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
So -where was Avery Chin when Shin Lin was winning AGT?
artegal over 2 years ago
A conservation group using paper on a display that does the opposite of conservation. Am I the only one who sees the irony?
moeric9 over 2 years ago
Were any 2 of those snowflakes the same?
Gweedo -it's legal here- Murray over 2 years ago
Feed them, Kiran, and they will stop growling.
mindjob over 2 years ago
Cheetah cubs wouldn’t have growled because they are in a different family than Leopards
poppacapsmokeblower over 2 years ago
If you attend an Avery Chin magic show does it last more than a minute?
bhamdodger over 2 years ago
Just think about how many trees were killed to make all those paper snowflakes.