Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for August 15, 2021

The debate over the point where bread ceases to be bread and becomes toast is now solved. It’s the moment the Unicorn casts the spell.

We know of butter AND jelly, Marigold!

Yeah Phoebe is nice, but I wanted ghost stories, not toast stories:-D.

I like toast….what a great song

When I was a kid a bit older than Phoebe, I discovered a couple of mathematical truths. Boy was I pleased. Then a few years later, I found out I was CENTURIES out of the running for “first”. Still, it was kinda cool.

Here’s one: The number of sides plus diagonals in an N-gon is equal to (N*(N-1))/2 <- note that since exactly one of the terms is even, dividing by 2 will always result in an integer.

This is also the formula for the number of different pairs of things in a set of N elements… which I did NOT realize when I was (13?).

Well to be fair, toast is pretty magical.

Cow or unicorn butter?

A little letdown Marigold!

In the second Halloween story arc, Phoebe said to Marigold, “So unicorns are real, dragons are real and goblins are real. Is anything else real?” Marigold replied, “Avocados are real too.”

but do humans know about the “stuffed animal koala” who ran for president in “two zero one two”….?

Jelly for President! Yes we jam!!

so it’s not Maillard reaction but the Marigold reaction?

Marigold wants to be “The toast of the Town”

Yes, we know what butter is. Unfortunately, many of us (myself included) are far more familiar with margarine.

Imagine that. A cordless toaster with a horn! Does she do more than one slice?

She took a bite from one end of the toast and then turned it around and took a bite from the other side.

Today, at least.

Drunk: Eternally grateful… A TOAST!

Max Bialystock: A TOAST!

Leo Bloom: A TOAST… to what?

Drunk: To… to toast, I love toast.

Max Bialystock: To toast.

Leo Bloom: To toast.

There has been even wars for which side the butter must go, up or down.

Marigold: “Have humans discovered CINNAMON though?”

We’re getting a real sense of how long Marigold was staring at her own reflection before Phoebe snapped her out of it if she didn’t know that humans already learned about toast and butter.

We can make it better than it was. Better…stronger…faster. Behold the English muffin!

Marigold said “ordinary piece of bread” but she meant “ordinary piece of sliced bread”. So toast is the biggest thing since sliced bread.

Sometimes, we are smarter than you might think. Sometimes that is…..

Before electric toasters humans would use various devices to toast bread. Some as simple as a cage at the end of a handle to be held over the fire in the fireplace or a pyramidal holder to be placed over a gas ring on the stovetop.

Honey.

All around the country and the coast… unicorns love toast.

I’m impressed that her spell has enough finesse to toast the bread and not Phoebe’s hand…

Once bread becomes toast, it will never be bread again.

Did Phoebe really take a bite from one edge of the toast, then turn it around to take a bite from the opposite end?

Don’t let her know we already know about jam and jelly either.