Last Kiss by John Lustig for January 08, 2021

Now here’s a man that likes to live life dangerously.

This reminds me of a story from Ann Wilson of the band “Heart.” She hooked up with a guy after one of their concerts and she thought he was really a great guy until she woke up in the morning in the hotel room and could hear him on the radio asking the local DJ to guess who he slept with last night. He was in the next room on the phone. It didn’t end well.

Good Golly, Miss Molly! This guy is like school in the summertime… No class…

and now it’s everybody’s affair…

I thought that a “secret affair” is an oxymoron, like “congressional intelligence”.

Bragging is his not so secret flair.

Long and old

Man rushes into the confessional and starts telling the priest about the wild sex he had last night with redheaded twin cheerleaders. After one luride detail too many the Father stops him.

‘My son, you aren’t showing any repentance for your carnal acts. When was the last time you went to confession?’

’I’ve never been to confession. I’m Jewish!’

‘Then why are you telling me about this unholy orgy?’

’I’m a 28 year old accountant who had a threesome with hot twins! Baby, I’m telling everybody!’

Three minutes of glory? Not much to brag about.

‘’That is a funny story! I’m sure the paramedics will LOVE to hear it!’’

I see. So we’re on a college campus here.

What he meant was he went to a fair but it wasn’t a secret.

John, good work! But… we both know that bragging like that ALWAYS comes back to bite a guy in the a…er, gluteus maximus; hopefully his wife won’t find out…

“I know. When I found out about it I posted your photos on ‘The Greatest Loser’”…

I didn´t tell anyone. I told everyone.

“After all, nobody thought ANYBODY would be interested in me after they found out about my incurable, fatal, highly contagious VD.”

“YOUR WHAT!!??”

“Uh…I did mention it, didn’t I?”